Alternative Tour Guide Script
As the prospies swarmed our campus last month, I wondered if they actually were getting anything meaningful from these tours that continued to block my path through Baker-Berry Library. While hustling out of the grim Novack Café scene one day, I #overheard "This is Novack, the inspirational and collaborative hub on campus," and I almost spit out my beyond bland coffee and choked on my over-priced fruit snacks. That statement was almost as accurate as Dick’s House telling a friend she was pregnant because she came in looking for cough drops. So, for all those prospies looking for a ~real~ tour of Dartmouth, here you go: