If Celebs Went Fratting
Oprah Winfrey
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Oprah Winfrey
In case you weren’t aware, November 6 (this Tuesday!) is election day. That means it’s time to take all your opinions to the polls and actually do something about them.
'21: "I ripped my pants climbing the fire escape to get into GDXmas. The saddest part is that this has happened to me twice."
(214): Sorry the juul wasn't working but I just fixed it
July: An Idea is Born
OH MY GOD!!! HALLOWEEN IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!! As excited as you might be, you might realize that you’ve waited too long to buy costumes. As Halloween nears, the prices on every costume rise and Party City just won’t accept your DBA.
With every new revelation in this year’s “Bonfire-Gate,” it’s become clearer and clearer that Dartmouth is in need of some new homecoming traditions. Regardless of this year’s bonfire (or lack thereof), it is this writer’s humble opinion that humans should be afraid of fire. So for those who, like me, would rather live to see the day after homecoming, here are some alternative traditions: since our ancestors didn’t evolve instincts just for us to run back into the flames.
It’s a Sunday night, which means that Collis is closed and the line for dinner at the Hop is stretched all the way back to the Box Office. This line provides the perfect pool of intellectuals to ask some of the most controversial questions known to man.
1. Shock & Denial
Can it really be Week 7 already? Time flies when you’re having fun, cramming for midterms and blacking out. The problem with our ten-week terms is that there’s never enough time to do everything you wanted. There’s always a bit of regret about the opportunities you missed out on. And though this may not be a solution, mapping out and prioritizing some bucket list items you want to scratch off before 18F is officially over might help you make the most out of the last few weeks you have on campus. So without further ado, let’s jump into the must-dos of 18F. Of course, only if you want to.
Dartmouth’s 10-week term means that you get to school, add-drop period begins and ends, and then it’s midterms season for the few weeks before finals. Midterms on their own are stressful enough, but given the time crunch that Dartmouth students face, it’s not easy to avoid a mental breakdown, and nothing defines a breakdown more than a crazy Google search history. Besides, it’s a great way to procrastinate. Here’s what I know you Googled this past week.
Rho Chi: “Boys’ rush is like capitalism and girls’ rush is like socialism.”
Fame. Depression. Passion. Music. Love. The newest remake of A Star is Born (Cooper, 2018) revolves around these central themes and gives new meaning to each one. Bradley Cooper’s directorial debut features himself as Jackson Maine, an alcoholic country star, and Lady Gaga as Ally, a waitress with a voice of gold.
Midterm season sucks. You lose sight of your friends, eat meals at Novack and wear the same sad hoodie everyday. I myself write this article about procrastinating midterms with the extreme stress of a CS1 midterm looming over my head. (Shameless plug: writing for Dartbeat is much more fun than studying for midterms.) Without further ado, here are seven wholesome activities to do instead of studying for midterms:
As many ’21s have learned this term, rush is not all it’s cracked up to be. The system is flawed, and even though you wore your cutest outfits and had awesome conversations, it might not have worked out. But that’s okay! In reality, there’s so much more to do and discover on campus! While being affiliated is fun, here are other fun activities for you and your friends (affiliated or not) to do now that the rush process is over.
I walk to the Life Sciences Center every day (because I am a poor planner) and would like to think I’m pretty familiar with the trek. But this year I noticed something different — recently, someone has installed a giant speaker playing soothing, yet baffling, water noises and mating whale noises on the outside of the building. So, as a serious Dartbeat investigator, I decided to look into this latest Dartmouth foolishness.
Girls’ rush is a process filled with … you see, that’s the problem — no one really knows. As ’20s, we begin to see guys flirting with brothers once the frat ban lifts, but for girls, rush is equal parts confusing, intimidating and a whole lot of mysterious. So when pre-rush events started popping up over spring term, one should not be shocked that extreme panic pursued. We went from being totally prepared to girl flirt fall term to having no idea what to do, how to act or most importantly, what to wear. So if you’ve ever wondered about the thought process that girls go through before a pre-rush event, here it is.
We all know the motto for spring term’s big weekend: “Green Key is a marathon, not a sprint.” If you’re reading this, that means you made it past the finish line, and whether or not you crawled that last leg or not, you are a CHAMPION. And no matter what your weekend was like, we're sure it was filled with loving alums, sunshine, darties and a whole lot of MDF approved alcohol. And even more potent than the surges of regret you are still reeling from in your Annex B cubicle are the drunk texts hanging over your head like a raincloud of shame. And just like we do every year, Dartbeat has compiled the most hilarious and egregious Green Key texts you'll never live down:
’17: "What do you think is more likely, me getting with an ’11 or a ’21?"
Ah, yes. Here we are. We have entered the szn of pastel shorts and floral rompers. The szn of darties and rallying after waking up confused and slightly tipsy at 11:00 p.m. The szn of “if I pregame my 12, will I be sober enough for my meeting with my prof at 2:30?” Yup, you guessed it. We have entered Green Key szn. Whether you are ready or not, now is time to get shit done so you can focus on alcohol consumption and taking the perfect instagram picture this weekend. In preparation for the latter, I’ve compiled a list of the most common Green Key instas for some inspiration. In preparation for the former, well, I hope you’ve started carbo-loading.