Dartmouth Conspiracy Theories
There is no question that we live in a modern world of lies and deception. Thus, I do not see it as a coincidence that my editors — those powers that be, per se, spewing “alternative facts” upon the good people — have asked me to write an article about “Dartmouth conspiracy theories.” Nay, I say. I will be strong. I shall not fall victim to their whims. And in protest, I will write instead a list of the greatest truths at Dartmouth, indisputable by those who are not blinded by the corruption that plagues this very campus.