Alternative Housing Community Swag
I know next to nothing about Dartmouth’s new housing system, and I have done next to nothing to find out more about it. But what I do know is that free stuff is headed my way this Founders Day, which is great because 1) I don’t want to do my laundry, and 2) I need more free swag to maintain the “hobo-chic” look I have going for me. But why stop at t-shirts and scarves? Here are some alternative house swag options:
Condoms
Starting off big (or average-sized—no judgment here at Dartbeat) with house condoms. Because when you’re about to make some bad decisions, you want to be prepared and know that School House has your back.
Thongs
If your hookup didn’t know which house you’re in already, they do now.
Shot Glasses
We may not be allowed to use these for their intended purpose (#philibition), but after graduation, you’ll be so glad to have an Allen House shot glass. Until then, you can use it as a candleholder, or maybe even for storing your house jewelry. The possibilities are endless.
Heelys
Since the recent hoverboard ban, there are only so few ways to get around campus. Hence the comeback of Heelys (which hasn’t actually happened yet despite Dartbeat’s valiant efforts). House Heelys let you rep your housing community during that long trek from East Wheelock to Baker-Berry.
Toilet Seat Covers
Because when natural calls, you want your housing community to be with you every step of the way. It’s all about the support, people.
Bongs
You’ll be the toke, toke, token community with bongs for swag.
All photos courtesy of Margaret Jones for The Dartmouth