Lost Dr.Seuss Manuscripts We'd Like to Find
As many of us know, Random House announced last week that a lost manuscript by Dr. Seuss —also known as Theodor Geisel ’25, arguably Dartmouth’s most famous alumnus — will be published in July. The manuscript, titled “What Pet Should I Get?” is a companion piece of sortsto “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish,” which features the same brother and sister. Obviously, we here @Dartbeat were excited to learn that our favorite alum (sorry, Mindy!) would be back in bookstores soon. In celebrating our enthusiasm, though, we got a little carried away, imagining possible titles and plotlines that might be waiting out there in other unfound manuscripts. Now that we’ve written them, let us know if you’d read any of the following?
Before Horton hears the citizens of Whoville speaking to him from what he thinks is a speck of dust, he decides to put his height to use growing vines of hops in the Jungle of Nool, hearing they can be used to make a “magic” drink. Then, to entice his fellow jungle animals to save microscopic Whoville from destruction, Horton harvests his hops and provides a free keg of the magical drink. Suddenly, the animals say that they do hear the citizens of Whoville and amiably agree to protect them.
Purple Waffles and Bacon (Green Eggs and Ham)
Encouraged that he finally got the narrator to try green eggs and ham, Sam-I-Am pushes his luck and badgers his unnamed friend to try purple waffles (made at FoCo) and bacon. Unfortunately this backfires when the narrator, annoyed by Sam-I-Am’s bullying and obnoxious epithet, flees the scene and leaves Sam stranded somewhere in the Upper Valley. Lodj Croo frantically scrambles to change their breakfast menu in time for DOC Trips.
How the Grinch Stole Green Key (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
Despite growing three times during the Christmas season, the Grinch’s heart re-shrinks in the ensuing months as he becomes envious that Max has a new girlfriend. Motivated by jealousy and a desire to help Dartmouth President Phil-Up-No-Handleon, the Grinch travels to Hanover for Green Key and steals every last bit of alcohol on campus, which he then takes to the top of Gile Fire Tower where he waits to hear the melancholy weeping of Dartmouth students. When he instead hears the melodious tunes of the alma mater, the Grinch decides that Green Key is about more than just alcohol and returns the stolen goods. In a hilarious twist, the book’s last page reveals that the Grinch was wrong and Green Key is just about drinking, and the Grinch gets Good Sam’d.
The Bee in the Tree (The Cat in the Hat)
While Sally and her brother are being entertained by a six-foot-tall fancily dressed cat, their mother has a similar hallucinatory experience in the backyard. As she is gardening, a massive bumblebee emerges from the branch of a tree and begins arguing with a hummingbird about his ability to balance things despite lacking limbs. Glancing in the window and thinking she sees a human-sized cat, the mom decides that New Hampshire’s excessive nature is making her crazy and moves the family to Massachusetts.
The Ice is not Nice (Fox in Socks)
Mr. Knox, after leaving Mr. Fox stuffed in a bottle – along with tweetle beetles battling with paddles in a puddle – hits his head slipping on black ice, a fate that likely befell Dr. Seuss himself on our very campus. This renders Mr. Knox unable to speak in anything except complex tongue-twisters, frustrating him immensely. Karma is a real thing, kids.