The Eight Types of People You See on College Tours
My freshman year I had a room in Russell Sage facing Silsby over the path toward the Rocky overhang. Every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I awoke from my post-10s, pre-2s nap (if you were a perpetual night-owl with a 9L you would do it, too) to the sound of a tour guide's voice drifting into my open window advertising the wonderful Rocky programs, blah blah blah, something about international studies. While the core spiel remained the same, the tour guide sometimes tried to add a personal spin to it.
Closely following the tour guide is a quiet herd of Dartmouth hopefuls and Dartmouth-parent hopefuls — although they aren’t always in the same family. As someone who has experienced no fewer than 19 official college tours (ironically that number doesn't include Dartmouth), I would consider myself a qualified expert on college tour attendees. Next time you run across a tour group on the Green, see how many of these people you can spot.
Anyone carrying a bag from The Dartmouth Co-op
Okay, this person reallylovesDartmouth, so much so that s/he felt the need to already visit the Co-op and buy a T-shirt. Forget everyone assuming that it’s a coffee mug for an alum family friend; no one is fooled. A subtler version of this is a parent wearing Dartmouth gear, allowing others to speculate on their alum status. Rule of thumb (for any college): save your money until you’re admitted.
The sibling
Old enough to realize they are on a college tour, young enough not to care. Parents may encourage them to pay attention, because they don’t want to have to make a repeat visit to the same school in approximately 18 months when the sibling is applying colleges.
The eighth grader
Not to be confused with the sibling, the eighth grader is actually the prospie in this case. Some combination of precociousness, helicopter parenting and perhaps a well-intentioned but misguided magnet school guidance counselor got them on this tour before even taking the PSAT. Just kidding, the eighth grader has already taken the PSAT and did better than half the kids on the tour.
The people talking in the back
This might be someone on their cellphone or it could be the notorious sibling and not-as-interested parent combo not even attempting to feign interest. Not only is it disrespectful to the tour guide, it makes it harder for people who are actually interested in the college tour to hear the tour guide. If you aren’t going to listen to a single word the guide is saying, just go walk around the school by yourself and continue your conversation in private. Or get gelato.
The person asking too many questions
Apparently, some kids think that asking specific questions — or even the act of asking questions itself bears weight on their admissions decision. This may include unreasonably specific questions or questions that make them sound totally arrogant. “Can I get an exemption if I’ve already covered all the material in physics major prerequisites?” Shut up.
The person asking tough questions
"So I heard this school has a hazing/sexual assault/(some other buzzword) problem?" I haven't actually overheard this question being asked, but I'm sure our PR and admissions departments saw to it that tour guides have a canned answer for this and other questions of a similar nature.
The family who has seen 11 colleges in five days
Whether or not the next stop is Williams or Middlebury, this family has made this week a whirlwind tour of New England colleges. As much as we like to think we are special, every college has dorms, a library, some sort of analog to the Green and dining facilities. By now, this kid has seen it all and is bored and/or confused as to where they actually are. Not to mention that Dad has a printed out itinerary that may or may not be laminated.
And the other family that has crossed paths with them
Overhearing “Didn’t we see you at Amherst?” is a dead giveaway that you have not one, but multiple families on your tour independently making the college rounds. They may not have met previously, but they recognize their own kind.