Stuff Dartmouth Kids Like: #100SnarkyDays
Picture this – I’m scrolling through my Instagram feed, seeing food, study abroad scenery and #tbt shots, when suddenly I see three pictures from three different people tagged #100happydays. Which made me laugh, because those of you who know me know that while I am generally a happy person, there is not a soul in the world who would say any of the following things about me – “She’s always so cheerful!” “She’s literally always smiling!” “I wish I could be as positive as she is!”
This isn’t to say that I’m a black cloud of doom and gloom. I am, however, from New York City, a place where walking around with a smile on your face all the time basically classifies you as a crazy person in everyone else’s mind. Remember enthusiastic Parker from “Friends”? Basically, that guy. I was curious, so I googled the phrase. Thanks to the power of the Internet, I was directed to the homepage of the 100 Happy Days campaign, which challenges people to post pictures of things that make them happy to their Instagrams, Twitters and Facebooks for 100 days.
I’m all for being happy. I think the world is a far better place when we stop and take stock of the good things in our lives. But throwing a filter on a picture of a really delicious banana and tagging it #100happydays so everyone else can see how Zen, centered and grateful you are seems a little bit to me like trolling for likes. I felt even more negatively about the whole thing when I got to this part of the website – “71 percent of people tried to complete this challenge but failed, quoting lack of time as the main reason. These people simply did not have the time to be happy. Do you?”
Hold it right there, judgmental 100 Happy Days people. Just because I don’t think it’s necessary to share with the world that I’m eating a really great Collis soup or found a super cute outfit for meetings (because hello, self-call much?) doesn’t mean I don’t have time to be happy! In fact, the insinuation makes me actively unhappy. Good job, guys.
I could whine about this some more, or I could share with you all what I’ve done about it. I trust you are all familiar with the sexting app best new app ever, Snapchat. For the unfortunate souls who are not, Snapchat lets you send pictures to your friends within the app that they can view for a specific number of seconds. More importantly, it introduced the “My Story” feature, which allows you to pin a picture to your profile for 24 hours, viewable by any of your friends.
Now that the Snapchat primer is over, we can get to the point. What annoyed me so much about the 100 Happy Days campaign was its public, in-your-face nature – “I have time to be happy AND make myself look tan with this filter (#livingwithmybitches #live) – do you?” But Snapchat stories aren’t in your face at all – I can’t make anyone look at any of mine. And a solution was born – instead of being grateful for my banana, I was going to point out how ridiculous it is that it’s still snowing in April. Hence #100SnarkyDays, Snapchat edition, was born. Besides, being snarky about things that I think are stupid makes me happy, so ironically I’m achieving the whole point of the campaign anyway.
For those of you who are my Snapchat friends, congratulations! The world is your oyster, and you get an exclusive look at the inner workings of my brain. For those of you who are not, sorry, but no randos allowed. Don’t worry – all hope is not lost. Below is a sampling of snarky thoughts – exclusive to Dartbeat – that almost made the cut. Or maybe they did and I just forgot about it.
- At the rate we’re going, Green Key is going to be cold and wet. This cannot happen. Do you hear me, weather gods?
- I understand that high schoolers need to visit Dartmouth to make the decision that will determine the next four years of their lives, but could they maybe not walk in rows of five down Mass Row when I’m trying to get to class? This applies to everyone else who does this, too.
- Anonymous randos need to stop commenting on D articles and get a life. I’m looking at you, “fribble.”
- I heard a ’17 call Topside “Collis Market” the other day and felt a sudden strong urge to stab him with a pencil.
- There is still nothing worse than having $200 of DBA left at the end of the term and remembering that you can’t order KAF cakes for next term anymore.
- Rugby games are a lot less rowdy than I thought they would be. Where’s your spirit, Dartmouth?
- When is somebody going to publish an op-ed that adds something new to the “does the Greek system suck” debate?
- Why can’t people play Ultimate Frisbee somewhere else?
- A corollary to this: why don’t people wear shoes on the Green? Dogs go to the bathroom there, you know.
- Another, more important corollary: why are there people that don’t wear shoes in frat basements? Do you WANT to die of staph?
P.S. Hey '14s - 43 days.