La Belle Vie: Knickers for all to see
Tuesday morning I found myself in a sticky situation. The sun was shining brightly and, although there was still a discernible nip in the air, I'd decided to take my chances and wear a skirt. Error. I had only walked a minute from my apartment when I realized that there was no way that I could simultaneously carry a bag, a binder, a large textbook and a flask of coffee, and also protect my (short, high-waisted, pleated) skirt from the wind. I couldn't turn back and change into jeans, as I was already late. I did the best job I could, bunching the skirt to the side and clutching it in the same hand as my flask, coffee dripping everywhere. It's good that nothing is exactly a long walk from anywhere around here.
So let's talk about knickers. Panties, undies, smalls, whatever you want to call them. Where I come from, we call them knickers. The two most basic rules about knickers is that they should always, unfailingly, be clean (duh), and preferably new. I'm not suggesting you pull a David Beckham and throw your underwear in the bin after only one wear, but if you've got a few pairs that have been lurking in the back of your drawers (ha!) since 2008, it's time for a revamp.
Knickers say something about you as a person. If they're old, grey, baggy and boring, then you clearly don't take good enough care of yourself. You want your knickers to tell the world that you value yourself. Use your ass as an advertisement.
Ironically, retailers allow you to do just that. Although flashing your knickers might suggest you're a floosy, Victoria's Secret lets you set the record straight by emblazoning "Hard to Get" and "Out of Your League" on your bum cheeks. If you are in fact a bit of a floosy, you could go for "Call Me." Those of you wishing to advertise your return from your term abroad should check out Topshop's collection — "Ooh La La"or (my personal favourite) "Brits Rock" should leave fellow students in no doubt of how chic and European you now are.
If you love the limelight, then you should consider some neon lace — after all, you don't want that hot kid from your chemistry lab who is all the way across the other side of the Green to miss out on a flash of the good stuff. This pair by Deborah Marquit are so bright they probably glow in the dark. If you don't want to spend three figures on knickers, this pair from Jack Wills are also an eye-catching option.
Cutesy girls could do worse than this star-spangled pairfrom Urban Outfitters. If pretty polka-dots and florals are more your bag, then Jack Wills has a great selection, all offering good coverage for your derriere.
The discerning among you should make a bee-line for this gorgeous leopard-print pair from British lingerie designers Mimi Holliday by Damaris. They're expensive, but even a quick flash will let the world know you enjoy the finer things in life. After all, you have to have them shipped from the United Kingdom. A more conservative option would be La Perla's lace-trimmed briefs — classic and understated.
That's the best solution I can offer you to this conundrum, folks. It's either that or wear shorts. Or go commando. Although, on a blustery day, that would probably get you noticed by all.