Sean Has Thoughts and Writes Them Down: Where can I get some Dartmouth swag?

“Where can I get some Dartmouth swag?”

The Co-op, Traditionally Trendy and the bookstore if you’re really scrapping the bottom of the barrel.

“Where’s the best place to get coffee in town?”

I need to start talking to Dirt Cowboy about swinging a commission for this one.

“So be honest with me . . . what’s the drug culture like here?”

I don’t know, pretty standard college drug use. We’re all good kids here ultimately.

“Can I get a campus map?”

Yeah sure, this is where we are, and this is where McNutt is. It takes 5 minutes to get anywhere so you’ll have to work hard to get lost.

“Do you like it here?”

Yes.

During prospie season, it’s funny to see parents leading their high school seniors around by invisible leashes. Some parents have a burning look in their eyes when they ask probing questions about the seedy underbelly of collegiate life. They relish in being the cool parent and love to cut through the bullshit to talk about drugs, alcohol and sex. Their kids stand the farthest away and occasionally try to blend in with another family.

Other parents have already had their kids abandon them and take the opportunity to question students one-on-one about whether their child can get by at Dartmouth. Their offspring is usually some combination of a really good kid at heart, isn’t interested in drinking and is an athlete but not like those other athletes who only got in based on their non-academic skills.

Parents seem to either want their kids to remain forever imprisoned in amber as their mother’s child, or to be forged in the furnace of sin and hedonism.

What most parents don’t grasp quite yet is that once they recede from the picture and send their little valedictorians and weekend soup kitchen warriors off to college, kids will finally have the opportunity to be themselves, out from under the watchful Dr. T. J. Eckleburg-like eyes of their parents.

How things play out from there is anyone’s guess. But trying to cop some fresh Dartmouth swag might be the single best thing a parent can do for their kid on the cusp of independence.