For months, Maggie Emerson ’25 could not bear to even think about ice hockey.
The walls of her home, once adorned with photos of her playing the sport — one that had defined a significant portion of her life — were now devoid of reminders of her time on the ice. After undergoing a severe back surgery in the fall of 2023 that prevented her from skating, the memories were too difficult.
“I made my dad hide my hockey gear, and I couldn’t watch hockey games,” Emerson said. “I could not even think about hockey — it was just too painful.”
Emerson started playing hockey at five years old on various club and school teams in her home state of Massachusetts. She was drawn to the sport because both her sisters and father had played hockey, and she was “definitely a part of a hockey family,” she explained. As for her position, five-year-old Emerson settled on goalie.
“[I] literally was like, ‘Why would I skate to the other end if the puck is always going to come back here at some point?’” Emerson said.
While Emerson’s position was chosen by herself, her father, Peter Emerson, played an important role in her hockey journey — he was “designated as Maggie’s hockey buddy,” Peter Emerson explained. The two spent “years and years” together “on this journey with all of the joys and pains along the way,” he said.
“You start as a young, young child in your sport, and your family goes to practice, brings you, sits there, helps you through all of the ups and downs of things,” Peter Emerson said. “It actually kind of shapes how you operate as a family.”
Emerson — who went to Harvard hockey games growing up — always wanted to play in the Ivy League and committed to Dartmouth in her sophomore year of high school, she said. After taking two gap years — one to play for the Kingston Junior Ice Wolves in Ontario, Canada, and another due to the COVID-19 pandemic — Emerson finally realized her dream at Dartmouth.
“I can’t even begin to describe it,” she said. “I remember the feeling of the first time we did lineups when they announced the names of the starters and … looking up at the rafters where all of the championship banners are hanging and singing the national anthem …It [was] very surreal.”
During her freshman season in 2021, Emerson won team MVP, Rookie of the Year and the commissioner’s award for the highest team GPA. Despite her accolades, Emerson was fighting a difficult battle: she had been diagnosed with spondylolysis one month prior to starting on Dartmouth’s team, an injury stemming from overuse. Spondylolysis is a condition that occurs when a bone in the spine “slips out of alignment and presses down on the vertebra below it,” according to the Cleveland Clinic.
Emerson started her freshman season with the possibility of invasive surgery that she knew would pause, if not completely end, her athletic career. Her condition caused chronic pain and prompted frequent visits to doctors and physical therapists, Emerson said.
“She played two seasons with an incredible amount of pain, pain management and just extra work with trainers and medication and just all of the things she had to deal with for two years trying to play DI hockey with the injury,” Peter Emerson said.
By the spring of Emerson’s sophomore year, her condition had progressed. Surgical intervention was now needed, meaning Emerson could no longer play hockey. She stepped down from the team and underwent surgery during her junior fall.
“I went from feeling like a peak athlete to barely getting out of bed for six weeks,” Emerson said.
The fight didn’t stop after six weeks, though. According to Emerson, the first six months after the operation were like “hell.”
“It really changed for a long time how I felt about my own body, and I felt really betrayed by my body for having had this happen,” she explained. “I also felt like my body probably felt betrayed by me for over-training and for losing this opportunity.”
The injury and operation also presented mental challenges. Emerson had been “waiting six years” to play at Dartmouth, and her self-image was closely connected to her role as a college athlete. Hockey was extremely important to Emerson — her identity was “intrinsically tied to [her] sport,” and without it, she felt “unmoored,” she said.
“I had barely any extracurriculars because my only time was spent playing hockey,” Emerson said. “And so when that was all just taken away, I was just like, ‘Who am I?’”
In response to her emotions, Emerson turned her focus to the community. On a campus where more than 75% of students participate in a sport — with others who were former athletes in high school — she knew there were many students who were also injured or otherwise unable to take part in athletics, she said.
As a result, Emerson decided to start a club called “Beyond the Athlete” last spring, she explained. The group seeks to create an environment where athletes can gather and find community with one another, learn new hobbies and hear from experts such as dieticians and psychologists who can assist with the physical and emotional changes that occur when transitioning away from sports. This fall, the club’s members painted together and hosted a board game night, among other activities.
According to Emerson, the organization is not exclusively for currently injured or retired athletes.
“If I’d had this club when I was at my peak playing, I think I would have been so much better on the ice because I wouldn’t have had this pressure where this was my only thing,” Emerson said.
In addition to “Beyond the Athlete,” Emerson explored other interests, including an Arabic immersion program at Middlebury College this summer. However, there are still difficulties with her transition.
“I think one thing I’ll never probably get over is like, ‘What would my potential be?’” Emerson said. “I’ve gotten to explore a lot of other places in other aspects of my life that I probably would not have known if I didn’t have things happen the way they did, but I think that question is something a lot of athletes can relate to.”
Emerson’s experience with her injury also prompted her to question how “injured players are often left behind” by the system of college athletics, she said.
“When you’re young and being recruited, you’re looked at for your successes and your potential to impact at the DI level,” Emerson explained. “You make it and play for as long as you can, but ultimately, once you’re injured, you’re no longer that useful impact player.”
Unexpectedly, before the start of this school year, Emerson was cleared to return to the ice after two years away. She now plays on the men’s and women’s club hockey teams.
“I am still an athlete,” Emerson said. “I’m still a hockey player, but in a very different capacity than before, and even getting to play my first games in 18 months this past weekend … was definitely a very bittersweet thing.”
Peter Emerson said he is “super proud” of his daughter for finding a way to play through this and reinvent herself.” Similarly, former teammate Sophie Robinson ‘24 said she found Emerson’s experience inspiring.
“As a friend and former teammate, as I supported Maggie [Emerson] in her recovery process, I was inspired by her strength and resilience,” Robinson said.
Ultimately, Emerson’s injury — though difficult — has allowed her to see “the other side,” she said.
“There is just an inextricable period of grief that goes hand in hand with the transition [away from sports],” Emerson said. “And when you’re in it, you never see the other side, and then you get to the other side and you’re like, ‘Oh, what?’”
