Fall in Hanover, much like the leaves, signals change — peak foliage season, exams in what seems like every other week and for some, perhaps the spark of a new romance. For students in long-distance relationships, though, the later weeks of the fall term might be the point at which distance and time spent apart start to sink in. The intensity of the quarter system — which leaves little time for travel — is far from ideal, making quick visits and sustained long-distance relationships challenging.
Driven by a somewhat nosey curiosity about my peers’ love lives, I set out to discover how Dartmouth students balance a committed long-distance relationship with their on-campus involvements. Keeping one foot grounded in classes and campus while the other remains in another part of the country can not only be stressful but emotionally challenging as well.
Even for relationships between two Dartmouth students, differences in their D-Plans might force them to do long distance for one or more terms. Maya Resnick ’25 has dated her boyfriend, another Dartmouth student, for two years. During that period, Resnick said she has conducted a long-distance relationship for three terms, due to the couple’s conflicting off-terms.
“I feel like at other schools you just do a study abroad semester but [do] not necessarily do off-terms and study abroads … Dartmouth, schedule-wise, leads to more distance than other schools,” Resnick said. “Because there’s more time apart, it can be harder.”
In addition to D-Plan arrangements, the quick pace of the quarter system can also strain relationships. Students’ busy schedules mean that they must be intentional with their time to make a long-distance relationship work. Joy Yan ’27 and her boyfriend Noah Barber, a professional baseball player based in Arizona, experience additional challenges related to time management.
“With the quarter system, there’s so much going on, and I feel like sometimes I’m always racing against time. I’ve had situations where I’m like, can I just have time to myself, do I hang out with my friends or do I talk to him?” Yan said.
Barber noted that the couple is going to have to “figure out” sophomore summer. Typically, the two spend summers at home and are able to see each other. This year, however, Yan will be in Hanover, an additional term that they will have to do long distance.
Whether dating a fellow Dartmouth student or someone who lives away from Hanover, not all couples succeed in bridging the distance. For some couples, the time apart becomes too much. Audrey Olmsted ’27 did long distance her senior year of high school through the fall term of her freshman year, adding that balancing her relationship became harder after arriving at Dartmouth.
“In high school, I felt like I had a lot of time to dedicate to calling him and texting him … but then our relationship pretty drastically changed and immediately started going downhill when I got here [Dartmouth] because I was now the one starting college and having a more exciting time in my life,” Olmsted said. “I didn’t have as much time to talk to him and support him, and I think that was really hard for both of us.”
For Olmsted, the biggest challenge was finding time to schedule visits. While distance is not a deal-breaker for some, Olmsted said it eventually became too emotionally challenging for her.
“I think he was able to still be emotionally happy in a long-distance relationship, versus I struggled with not being able to actually see him in person,” Olmsted said.
Despite the challenges, long distance relationships provide space to grow, learn and maintain support. While Resnick has faced challenges due to the distance, she’s found that the silver lining has been learning how to “live life and navigate challenges” on her own.
“Long distance is challenging, but it’s doable, and I think that distance kind of brings out the pros and cons of the relationship,” Resnick said.
Another potential benefit of these relationships is that they may give students more time to dedicate to friends while their significant others remain off campus.
“In a way, it’s nice for me because I never have to choose him or my friends. In person at least, I’m always able to choose my friends … I get to maximize my time with them,” Yan said.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, long-distance relationships bring both challenges and benefits. The distance may feel much more pronounced as midterms and finals loom. Then again, that same space can also give students the opportunity to grow as individuals and understand their relationships more deeply while also becoming closer to the friends they have on campus.
“We have that kind of relationship where we’re growing as individuals … we can connect and go through things together but it’s also nice to know that I can do things on my own,” Resnick said. “I think that makes relationships healthier.”
