It’s late April and it snowed last week. Give me a break. Also, don’t read last week’s predictions. Here are eight insightful observations from the past seven days:
1. I am the same age as this year’s NBA rookie class:
Donovan Mitchell and Ben “Rookie” Simmons are both 21 years old. In the Philadelphia 76ers’ Game Four victory, Simmons posted the first rookie playoff triple-double since Magic Johnson in 1980. I, on the other hand, recently discovered the best way to ladle Collis soup without spilling it everywhere (one scoop to the brim just about fills the large cup).
2. How ’bout them Pels?
With four dominating performances, the New Orleans Pelicans became the first six-seed to sweep a three-seed since the NBA switched to the current format in 2003. Looks like the Golden State Warriors’ path to a repeat isn’t as easy as we thought. Shoutout to Playoff Rondo and the criminally underrated Jrue Holiday.
3. The Utah Jazz are too fun
Saturday’s game had it all. An amazing crowd. Ricky Rubio dropping a triple-double in a man bun. Joe Ingles draining long threes. Rudy Gobert outscoring Russell Westbrook. Can we also talk about those “Take Note” t-shirts? I need one.
4. The New Hampshire Fisher Cats are must-see baseball
I plan on making the trek to Manchester myself before all these guys get called up to the big leagues. Tell me this minor league roster isn’t incredible. First of all, it’s already worth it to watch Vladimir Guerrero, Jr., son of nine-time All-Star and Hall-of-Famer Vladimir Guerrero, play in person. Then there’s also Cavan Biggio, son of Houston Astros legend and Hall-of-Famer Craig Biggio, and Bo Bichette, whose dad is four-time All-Star Dante Bichette. Astros infielder Yuli Gurriel’s younger brother Lourdes Gurriel, Jr. was on the team until Friday, when he was called up to face the New York Yankees and promptly logged three RBIs during his debut. If you like a little veteran talent, former Boston Red Sox closer and Yale University alumnus Craig Breslow is also on the team. He’s over eight years older than the next older player and less than six months younger than his team manager.
5. Collis eggs
Anyone that has had a conversation with me for longer than five minutes this term knows about my recent discovery of Collis eggs. Until this past winter, I was unaware of the glory of the Collis egg station. You can get whole eggs made on the spot — with toppings. I’ve actually been living under a rock. Two friends recently caught me sneaking off to order Collis eggs alone (you got to beat the rush!) instead of joining them at Foco. Guilty as charged.
6. Senior spring will be gone before you know it
It’s the start of week five, which means it’s the beginning of the halfway point of the last term of my Dartmouth career, which means I’m getting ever so close to the “real world.” I felt like I just got here yesterday. I’ll save the nostalgia for later, but it’s coming, y’all. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
7. Cruise control
Last month, I trekked up to Burlington, Vermont to take a graduate school test. First of all, it’s felonious that Burlington was one of the closest destinations to Hanover for test-taking. That doesn’t seem right. That aside, I’ve driven this beat-up 2006 white Jeep Liberty for almost eight years now. It’s seen my best days and my worst days. We truly started from the bottom, ramming down trash cans in front of my house learning to parallel park. When I had to leave the Jeep at home for my first two years of college, I felt like a part of me was missing, so naturally I drove it up 2,000 miles from Austin, Texas before sophomore summer. On my trip to Burlington, I discovered that cruise control exists and cruise control automatically pushes down the accelerator and maintains a constant speed. I was stunned as soon as I flicked the switch. I felt like I just teleported into the future. Is this what self-driving cars will be like?
8. Don’t write off the Cavaliers
Yes, they don’t look great against a relatively uninspiring Indiana Pacers squad. No, I am not a LeBron James homer. But after what I saw at the Quicken Loans Arena watch party on June 19, 2016, I’m never betting against LeBron.
