With a name like a song and eyes that twinkle like stars in a sky without air pollution, there should really be no convincing necessary. Selena Neptune-Bear, who hails from the Penobscot Indian Reservation in Maine, is one beautiful, badass lady. Now, when it comes to Selena, the question is not “what does she do?”, but rather, “What doesn’t she do?”
A modern day Mother Teresa, Selena is the gift that keeps on giving. Throughout high school, she worked tirelessly to support and contribute to her community. As a member of the Tribal Youth Council, Selena organized countless events and attended conferences around the country. But it doesn’t end there. Selena is also a cultural educator who travels to different third grade classes around the country, Fancy Shawl dancing to the beat of her father’s drum group and teaching the youth about her native language and culture. If you want to see Selena in action, however, take a ticket and wait in line. During the 100th Anniversary of Acadia National Park, this girl danced for American royalty — the Obamas. Yes, you read that correctly. The best part is, she calls the them “Shell-Shell” and “B-boy.” All you Government majors better wife this dancing queen if you ever want to see the inside of the White House from any other vantage point but the walking tour.
In addition, when the inevitable food purge hits campus and Collis stir-fry is nowhere to be found, you can call Selena: she’s an archery instructor and registered tribal hunting guide. She offers Katniss Everdeen lessons and takes groups into the woods to catch their prey. Have a bear you need to hunt down? Have a reality show about surviving and looking hot while doing it but no one to star in it? Want to date someone out of your league? Selena’s your girl. Oh, and did I mention she’s pre-med?
With brows always on fleek, cool but casual attire, a rockin’ bod and a highlight so on point it could blind an unsuspecting frat boy at any moment, mirrors start to feel self-conscious when Selena looks in them. But her beauty goes beyond what you can see in a selfie. This high school double-varsity athlete can kill it on the court and the soccer field. Whether it be to the sound of drum beats of Chance the Rapper beats, if you see Selena on the dance floor, don’t dance next to her, you’ll look like an impala in “Planet Earth” trying to walk immediately after being born. I don’t care if you won your high school talent show for your moonwalk. It’s not happening.
Any inspired young gentlemen reading this should know, Selena’s dream date is a good, old-fashioned picnic under the stars. Put on a playlist of Chance, Marian Hill and Kanye, kick back and appreciate who exactly you’re on this date with. That is, if you can get through her four brothers first.
