This academic year has been, without a doubt, a rough ride for Greek-affiliated students at Dartmouth. SAE and AD have gone the way of the brontosaurus. KDE and Tabard are suspended, and who knows who else is next. Every remaining house seems to move with the care and anxiety of French Resistance agents, slinking around avoiding authoritarian attention, communicating clandestinely through Gmail lists and GroupMe conversations.
Under such stressful conditions, it is no wonder that the opinion section has hosted such a parade of impassioned pleas from affiliated students to protect the way of life they have held dear during their time at Dartmouth. The campus is changing, quickly, and not in their favor. It’s understandable that some people have started to feel a little antagonized by the way things are going. Understanding this sentiment, however, does not mean that I don’t die a little more inside every time I see another think piece that sounds like it was written by a particularly litigious child demanding a later bedtime.
Here is my unpopular opinion: I don’t feel bad for Greek life at Dartmouth. Institutional memory is short and the legacy of bad behavior at some of these houses is very, very long. AD and SAE were not random victims of administrative rage against fun and good times; they messed up. They messed up a whole lot, in ways that hurt real people. In exchange for the privilege of being a Greek organization that is recognized by the College, a house agrees to abide by certain rules. Choosing to break those rules is the prerogative of the people within these organizations who make these decisions. However, if you get caught blatantly breaking the rules, there are going to be consequences. It’s as simple as that. The members of these houses don’t get to get caught ignoring the rules and then cry foul when they get in trouble for it. That’s just not how rules, or consequences, work. The social scene will adjust to their absence, and we will move on. In my case, I’m moving on with the rest of my class directly into an entire world of things to do, where none of this will ever matter again. That’s what I think.
None of what I just said makes anyone feel better though, does it? That’s the thing — no matter how we try to explain the sudden shifts in our social scene, nothing really eases the discomfort or stops the steady build of frustration. We’re all upset, and we’re even more upset that there’s nothing we can do to stop being upset. So, in order to create a more friendly, inclusive environment here on campus, and in order to release everyone from the whiny hellscape that has taken over the opinion section, Yik Yak and every other platform, I invite all of you to fight me.
Yes, I really mean it — this could just be my giving Christian spirit talking, but I can no longer stand idly by while my friends and peers suffer. If seeing an organization be punished for blatantly disregarding policies that it agreed to follow is just too much for some people, I invite them to reach out to me to schedule an appointment for some good old fashioned fistcuffs. “See a need, fill a need,” to quote the movie “Robots.” I see a need for all of us to feel empowered on this campus, and I want to be the one to fill that need by offering myself as an adversary.
Every student should have the right to vent their frustration. Why do it through angry Yik Yak posts and misguided op-eds when you could get it out in a nice, wholesome back alley thowdown? Boxing, street fighting, Greco-Roman wrestling, I don’t care what we do, as long as it’s a recognized form of hand-to-hand combat, and we agree that the eyes and anything below the belt are off-limits. Being angry is no excuse to be unsportsmanlike. The sons and daughters of Dartmouth clearly can’t be expected to accept the consequences of their actions, about which they are warned, lightly. So, I volunteer as tribute. You may not be able to stop the shift in campus culture and the evolving Dartmouth social scene, but you could at least get a good, clean fight out of it.
