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The Dartmouth
November 27, 2024 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

SWUG Routine

Mary Liza Hartong '16 rocks a knee length cheetah print jacket #swug.
Mary Liza Hartong '16 rocks a knee length cheetah print jacket #swug.

She said, “Do you wanna go out?

Dress up real pretty,

Dance our hearts out?”

I thought — BarHop, Psi U, Phi Tau?

We’ll all go together,

But one thing’s gonna take me down.

I’m so tired, exhausted as hell.

That sounds fun, but I’d rather just chill.

Sorry my friend, I hate to offend, my premonition is

Three different types of cheese,

Staying in my PJs, binging on Netflix, babe.

Twizzlers and GREs,

Yes, you’ll see me again, it’s just gonna be in my SWUG routine.

SWUG routine.

I said, “Wanna order Indian food?”

My clothes are in a chair, these shambles are my room.

And his voice is a familiar sound, “To go or delivery?”

Should be here in a short hour.

In my shawl, I’m SWUG as hell.

On my chem test, I’m gonna do well.

And when my friends invite me and insist,

My last request is,

Say you’ll text message me,

The stories of your success, dancing til the sunrise, babe.

Sig eps and hot Tuckees,

Yes, you’ll see me again, it’s just gonna be in my SWUG routine.

SWUG routine.

Forgot about my white knight,

Watchin’ reruns of Nick at Night,

Kenan and Kel.

When you close the door, you leave me

In my sanctuary, bumming around.

This beanbag feels alright,

Sweatpants are never tight.

Never a frown.

Gals, when you leave me,

I have this brie cheese all to myself.

Say you’ll remember me,

Combating my school stress, swearing at the internet, babe.

Lay’s chips,

“Good Will Hunting,”

Yes, you’ll see me again even if it’s just in bed.

Say you’ll remember me,

Ignoring a big mess, adopting a parrot, babe.

Lounging at home for weeks,

Yes, you’ll see me again it’s just gonna be in my SWUG routine

SWUG routine.

Join me in my SWUG routine.

SWUG routine.


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