Netflix is releasing a new show called “Fuller House,” a “Full House” (1987) sequel set to feature the new American family. Whether this will include a same-sex marriage or obese individuals, I do not know. On that note, can we please discuss the California woman who ate a 13-pound steak dinner complete with salad, shrimp cocktail and baked potato? This story certainly invoked sweet memories of the Murphy’s cowboy steak “for two.” Bring it back, Nigel!
According to The Washington Post, the FBI has admitted that “nearly every examiner in an elite FBI forensic unit gave flawed testimony in almost all trials in which they offered evidence against criminal defendants over more than a two-decade period before 2000.” Apparently of those 268 cases, 32 ended in death-row conviction. Maybe the FBI was wrong about Monica Lewinsky, after all… who do you have to screw to get some semen analysis up in here?
My friends are studying for an Education 1 exam, starting their career off early #seniorspring. They have just learned about proprietary schools and are interested in investing in one of their own. Having now become familiar with the concept of a for-profit school, I didn’t know this was different from Dartmouth College.
It’s been a tragic past few days for Paris Hilton fans everywhere. Hilton’s beloved chihuahua Tinkerbell, who stole the hearts of many on “The Simple Life” (2003) has passed on. R.I.P. Tinky.
Rand Paul’s 22-year-old son, William Hilton Paul, has been cited with a DUI after crashing his car into another parked car. This isn’t William’s first run-in with the law, but let’s hope it’s the last for the sake of Rand and Ron. The Paul family’s not the only fam ashamed by its own flesh and blood.
Ben Affleck’s been in some hot water lately. Leaked Sony emails revealed that Affleck tried to cover up some of his ancestry while appearing on the PBS show “Finding Your Roots” (2012). Affleck’s great-great-great grandfather, it was revealed, owned 25 slaves. Affleck, naturally embarrassed by this revelation, asked the producers to leave this part out of the show, which they did. Unfortunately for Ben, Sony’s been having some email security issues lately. Or something along those lines.
Hillary Clinton is coming to New Hampshire. Doesn’t seem like some of our fellow students are #readyforHillary. You may have seen the Daily Mail article in which, among other salacious tidbits, one of our fellow students said that Hillary has “blood on her hands” from Benghazi.
Wonder what that student thinks of David Brooks as our commencement speaker? The NYT op-ed columnist is this year’s commencement speaker. Perhaps some of the population can enlighten him on the benefits of marijuana since we all know how opposed he is to the dangerous substance. He’s no Shonda Rhimes, but I’ll take it. It will be interesting to see how receptive students are to Brooks. He speaks so well to our vastly liberal student population…
So how did you celebrate 4/20 (which happens to be Phil’s second-favorite holiday after Thanksgiving)? I can’t even remember that whole day — and not because I was high (which I was not). I just really can’t remember what I was up to on Monday besides going to four hours of class.
What I do remember from 4/20 was anything but pleasant. Tragedy has hit home for me this week as Tim Tebow has been signed by the Philadelphia Eagles. It should be noted that Tebow’s contract doesn’t include a signing bonus or any guaranteed money. I’m really excited for him to lead Philadelphia sports fans in prayer. I think that will go over really well.
It wouldn’t be a Friday with me if I didn’t bring up the Church of Scientology and/or beloved actor John Travolta. Travolta has a message for all of us Scientology-haters — read L. Ron Hubbard’s book “Dianetics!” Then you’ll understand the religion. What I want to know, though, is does Travolta even believe what he’s saying or is he just being held captive by the Church? Clearly, the Church has a lot of dirt on Travolta. If the public knows as much as we do about Travolta’s masseuse-man-handling ways, then I think it’s safe to assume that the Church has enough ammo to keep Travolta in the Church for a lifetime.
On that note, I was disgusted to hear about Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s remarks on gay marriage.
“I hold the view that has been the consensus in our country for over two centuries: that marriage is between one man and one woman,” he wrote in a NYT opinion piece this week. Is that really the consensus nowadays, Bobby? What an enlightened individual.
