In her Feb. 18 column, “No Strings Attached,” Jessica Lu presented an optimistic view of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Lu concedes briefly that it “may present a problematic portrayal of BDSM relations,” but continues on to discuss the merit of the franchise — namely, that it brings female sexual pleasure into the mainstream and enables women to openly discuss and express their sexuality. I’ve read all three of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” books, and have no problems with BDSM-style sex. I argue, however, that “Fifty Shades of Grey” does the exact opposite of sexually empowering for women.
“Fifty Shades of Grey” is sneaky — at a glance, it de-stigmatizes both BDSM and female pleasure in one fell swoop. If this were true, it would be a truly incredible feat. Neither the film or novel, however, present a new sexual liberation for women, but rather continue to work within a harmful, patriarchal view of women.
First, the novel taps into the trope that men should and do find virgin women highly desirable. Anastasia was incredibly special to Christian because she was completely pure — never been kissed, never seen a flogger before. Any other submissive, had they been exposed to or engaged in sexual contact, would not have been able to win Christian’s love and “fix” him.
Second, the novel portrays self-sacrificing women as virtuous and noble. Anastasia doesn’t inherently enjoy being beaten or tied up, and she struggles with submissiveness because she prefers equality in relationships. For Christian, though, she’ll do anything. No matter how many times she hesitates or refuses, Anastasia ultimately lets Christian do what he wishes because, in her mind, his needs are more important than hers. Christian’s need to dominate women stems from an abusive childhood. Not only does this assume sexual deviancy is rooted in underlying issues, but asserts that Anastasia can not only sacrifice her agency for Christian’s needs, but also fix him. The novel represents his need to dominate her as more important than her desire for equality, but it’s okay because she can still be his magical savior.
Finally, ”Fifty Shades of Grey” suggests that the best kind of women are sexually naïve — but if you push them far enough, they’ll be down for anything. It’s the same misogynistic stereotype in which women openly resist sexual activity but secretly enjoy it. Anastasia’s sexual awakening is exciting — even if it’s not on her terms. She’s too afraid to lose Christian to stand up for what she wants or doesn’t want.
BDSM-style sex can be empowering and meet the needs of all involved because it is rooted in consent and trust. This relationship, however, involves emotional manipulation and coercion. Christian manipulates Anastasia by saying, “That’s what a good submissive would do.” Christian’s contract, the Red Room of Pain and all the sexy whispers in her ear essentially say, “This is what I want. How far are you willing to go to make me happy?” Anastasia wants to please Christian, so she agrees to be his submissive. Not because she wants to, but because she wants him to love her.
The books make it clear that her favorite and most intimate moments with Christian are when they have very consensual, “vanilla” sex. Anastasia engages in sexual activity with Christian for Christian, not for herself. She fears losing him more than she fears being manipulated into sex. We never see Ana stand up to Christian and say, “Actually, I’d rather not be tied up today. Can you give me oral instead? I’d like that.”
If “Fifty Shades of Grey” were truly empowering, Christian would respect Ana’s voice when she says “No.” It is not “hot” or “racy” for a woman to resist a man only to have him do whatever he wants anyway. Ana should engage in BDSM activities for herself, not for a man. What we should be hearing from Ana is a “Hell yeah, I’m so down for you to spank me, this is exactly what I needed!” instead of a “Holy crap! I can’t do this.” No matter how many orgasms Anastasia has, the relationship cannot be a role model for sexual empowerment — not because of the power dynamics inherent in BDSM, but because she was never truly comfortable with what Christian wanted but kept satisfying him anyway.
