Dartmouth students do plenty of “experiential learning” — maybe not the kind that College President Phil Hanlon has campaigned for. But simply being a college student necessitates experiential learning. As I enter the beginning of the end of junior year (aka the end of third week of term), I feel compelled to share what I’ve learned about Dartmouth so far. While I like to consider myself an active, in-the-know member of the Dartmouth community, I mistook a group of overeager high school Model United Nations students for Dimensions prospies a few weekends ago. I was also unaware that Dimensions is going to be taking place over three separate weekends this year until I told this story to my friend the other day. With that information in mind, I have some advice for you underclassmen (as well as any ’18s reading this, if this weekend happens to be one of the Dimensions weekends). Take it at your own risk.
Transitioning into Spring
We all know the saying, “April showers bring May flowers.” If you take showers to mean melting snow and excessive manure, then spring has slowly but surely come to Hanover. My recent allergic flare-ups may be the best scientific indicator that spring is in the air. Or that Topliff is really, really dusty (and maybe moldy). But Harvey Dent once said, “The night is darkest just before the dawn.” Do not let the warmer temperature fool you — history and the trusted meteorologists over at Weather.com indicate that it’s not yet time for you to ship home your winter wardrobe and break out those sundresses. And unless you have enough self-control to avoid taking shortcuts through muddy pastures on the way to class, do wear rubber shoes (i.e. boots). This is not the time to break out your fresh new kicks.
Take that, global warming.
Room Draw
Room draw is no joke. If you somehow forget or miss your time slot, you’ve allowed those ranked below you in the lottery system the chance to reserve the room you’ve had your eye on. During room draw, I was prepared with an ordered list of 40 different rooms (all singles) I wanted in Ripley-Woodward-Smith and Topliff, which I ranked based off of square footage and what floor the room was on. Over the summer, I wondered how my mediocre housing number landed me a huge room, but I think I now know why.
When selecting rooms, find out if the ground floor is secretly below ground. (Hint: avoid Smith.) Little did I know during room draw that each dorm has a different definition of “ground floor,” and I ended up with a room literally next to the sidewalk. Consequently, I have not put up my window shades since the first day of classes. Also, don’t choose a room that is more than a 20-second walk away from the bathroom — after a few weeks, you realize that you’ve unconsciously trained yourself to drink less water.
Having a room on the “ground floor” (technically first floor) on the side of the main entryway without a bathroom is an interesting combination. Rubbing shoulders with so many different students as they enter or leave the dorm has provided me with countless awkward interactions. I’ve seen it all: group hangouts (annoying — move elsewhere!), fights, makeouts, fights and then makeouts, a naked person walking from the bathroom to his or her room — the list goes on. Living in this precarious location has shamed me into wearing shower shoes.
Other perks of being on the first floor: participating in the U.S. Census! I have been visited multiple times this week by a man from the U.S. Census Bureau, who tells me I’ve been randomly selected from the hundreds of students in Topliff as one of 10 people he will survey. I expect to hear a loud knocking on my door tonight, since I was “too busy to talk” last time he came.
I was already skeptical of U.S. Census surveys, since they fail to capture the true demographics of the country, but now I’m more than skeptical of their methodology. Both my next-door neighbor and the student who lives across from her have spoken with this man, whose name I have forgotten. Unless he actually is a huge creep and we have a whole other issue on our hands, I can’t help but think he is just interviewing people on this floor to avoid using the stairs.
If you find yourself in a similar living situation, the most important tip I can give you is to make sure you own towels of an appropriate length. Also, while I personally haven’t been willing to make the financial commitment required to buy a new bathrobe, make sure you invest in a bathrobe rather than the one your mom bought before your middle-school growth spurt.
Green Key
Green Key is the one time a year students can pretend they go to a party school that’s not in the middle of an Arctic tundra. Since Green Key is all about enjoying the spring weather that has finally arrived, there are lots of outdoor activities.
Avoid sleeping until 2 p.m. during Green Key — unless it’s Sunday.
Every year, Programming Board hosts an evening concert, usually headlined by an artist probably past his or her prime. This isn’t the University of Pennsylvania’s Spring Fling. Last year, I was beyond excited to watch Shaggy perform some songs from his 2000 album “Hot Shot.” Although I was disappointed that he played only a few of his post-2000 songs, I still really wanted a picture with him. After befriending his backup dancers and singers as they wandered down Tuck Mall, I was able to press my face to the window of the SUV he rode in. Sadly, his driver told me that I would not be allowed to meet or get a picture with him because “he’s already taken his shirt off.” As a longtime fan of the one Shaggy album I’ve heard, I was understandably crushed.
Sophomore Summer
I could write an entire book with funny stories from sophomore summer. Since there’s so much random advice you really need to know, I’ve made the following list of the dos and don’ts of sophomore summer:
Don’t make this the term to get rid of that pesky QDS credit. More specifically, do not take statistics if you are a humanities-inclined student who hasn’t touched a calculator since high school calculus.
Do get an air conditioning unit for your window if your residence doesn’t have central air — totally worth the cost. This may only be allowed for students with allergies (like myself), so here’s hoping that’s a thing for you, too.
Don’t let heavy AC units fall out of your window!
For those who prefer to enjoy nature from the comfort of an air-conditioned room with a view, rather than toil on a hike or swim in the river, don’t forget to take your vitamin D supplements.
Do learn to love the selections and obesity-inducing portion sizes at Ice Cream Fore-U. Proceed with caution if you are lactose-intolerant and/or have a weak digestive system.
Do appreciate the relative absence of long lines in Collis.
Applying for an Internship
Corporate recruiting events are strikingly similar to women’s rush. The same topics are pretty much off-limit in conversations, and the room is filled with forced enthusiasm. As far as I can tell, the biggest difference between the two is that there would be widespread support among upperclassman students for corporate recruiting events to adopt a freshman ban.
If you decide to join your peers and go corporate, know the answer to the following questions: “Why finance?” and “So, can you tell me what a bank does?”
Even if you’re not an aspiring financier, you will probably find that searching for an unpaid (or paid but not making nearly as much money as in finance) internship can present its own list of challenges. When an internship seeks out business, communications, marketing (and so on) majors, you may find yourself questioning the value and expense of your own liberal arts education.
If all else fails, consider a normal summer job.
Studying Abroad
That you can only bring one large suitcase when visiting a foreign country for 10 weeks was enough to ensure that I never signed up for a study abroad program. My plans to “backpack” through Europe at some point in the near future may therefore be unrealistic. However, from what my more daring friends have shared about their experiences studying abroad and the assumptions I am prepared to make based on my viewing of the film “Taken,” I believe I am prepared to offer advice on this topic.
In terms of host families, hope for the best. Expect the worst. The worse, the better in terms of funny stories you can tell your friends back home.
This is from my own personal experience vacationing with my parents. Don’t be fooled by how easy Europeans make bicycling through main traffic and the smaller streets and alleyways look. In my one-hour bike tour, I crashed into two outdoor cafes as well as a number of pedestrians. My failed attempt to be Euro-chic by way of bicycling (a beanie was also involved) has only increased my distaste for cyclists on the road, here and abroad.
Don’t tell people, namely random foreign men you’ve never met before, the exact location/building/floor/room where you are staying.
