I’m really jealous of Ben Affleck, and it isn’t even because he regularly gets to hang out with Matt Damon.
This envy is a new realization, and I have to be honest, it surprises me a lot. Affleck is objectively not an unusual or illogical person to be jealous of — he’s talented, charismatic and easy on the eyes. But if you examine my other role models from childhood (John Lennon), adolescence (Christiane Amanpour) or the present (my little brother), he doesn’t exactly fit the mold. I respect his work and credibility as an entertainer — I’ve just never been remotely interested in gracing the silver screen.
But I’m jealous of him because he gets the career that he’s probably always wanted — and then some. He gets to have the high-profile, money-making, legendary movie star status, but then he turns around and uses it to make a difference in issues he believes are important. In late February, Affleck testified before Congress about the humanitarian issues in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, sparking discussion among people (read: fans) who probably couldn’t have told you where the DRC was on a map before his appearance. And he plays a role in the new Batman movie set to debut in 2015 (my terrifyingly close graduation year). Talk about having your cake and eating it, too.
In my opinion, it’s going to take a lot more than a little bit of humanitarian intervention and goodwill (hunting, get it?) from the U.S. to bring peace to that part of the world. But I applaud Affleck for trying. I initially doubted his background and wrote the testimony off as a publicity stunt, but his testimony proved that he does have experience in the region. And after all, expressing conviction about something is better than a stint in rehab.
My realizing just how good Affleck has it came primarily from my current internship experience and my summer internship search. When I selected my college major, I didn’t fully appreciate the dichotomy that often exists between choosing to make a lot of money and choosing to make a difference in the world. I decided on the latter without really understanding that the former would consequently be more difficult. My argument isn’t that finance bankers cannot effect, but you’re kidding yourself if you say that’s why people chose to work on Wall Street.
I’ve spent the past term doing work on high-conflict areas for the State Department. It feels good to wake up in the morning and know that even the most boring Excel projects contribute to helping people around the world. It feels less good not to be paid for my time, though, especially when I consider that I could probably have a job that would deter the costs of living in an expensive metropolitan area. Also, it turns out it’s harder to fix the world’s problems than you would think.
Don’t get me wrong — I fully appreciate that I’m fortunate enough to even consider the idea of having an unpaid internship. I know that many of my peers are not in the same boat. But when you’re on the brink of figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your life, it’s good to question your priorities.
My most recent round of existential questioning has focused a lot on defining success. In my book, it’s always been about doing something “noble” — that is, something meaningful and bigger than myself. A lot of people at Dartmouth and the world define it differently.
If you’ve ever taken a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test, I’m an INFJ. This means that I have introverted intuition with extraverted feeling. It’s the rarest personality type, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Among other peculiarities, it means that I have such a big-picture outlook that my perspective becomes unrelatable to a lot of people. Go figure.
These days, I’ve tried to bring my view-from-outer-space conception of the world into closer focus. I have considered the possibility that maybe a more egocentric understanding would be a good thing. To be frank, when I chose to study and work in international relations, I was not in a place where worrying about money was an immediate concern. I don’t regret my decision in the slightest because I have a passion for it and am confident that my education has given me the skills to do well no matter where I end up. I also don’t really care about being able to own a Maserati. I have, however, come to appreciate that there is intrinsic value in all kinds of work, and that careers aimed at achieving the lifestyle you want for yourself and your family have their own merit.
I hope that 20 years down the line, regardless of which side of the dichotomy we end up on, we all end up as Ben Afflecks. I hope that my friends who say they want to work in a high-earning career so they can give back pull it off. I hope we defy the evidence that addiction to greed is real. I hope we keep in mind that money is a means to an end and not an end in itself. In sum, I hope that we’re able to have our cake (perhaps in varying degrees of gourmet-ness) and eat it, too (whatever that greater good means for you).
And if you happen to have an internship in mind that sets the stage for all that, blitz me. The hunt is still on.
