I decided to continue playing hockey after college because I love the game. I couldn’t let it go. Playing for Toronto, I had fun and I loved my teammates, but after I had to sit out for a few games for what I felt were political reasons, I decided to make a change and switch teams.
Based on my performance in Montreal and in practice I was confident that I would play in our Nov. 23 game against Brampton. When my coach told me I would not be dressing, I honestly could not believe it. I had never been a healthy scratch in my life and definitely did not think I deserved it.
I was told that I struggle breaking out of my zone and would benefit from watching the game from the stands. Nonsense! Leading the breakout had always been one of my strengths, and the general manager stated in a press release when she drafted me that the team would benefit from my “confidence with the puck.” I figured since I was the only rookie on defense I would have to sit out at least one game, so I sucked it up and cheered for my team. The coach said I would be going to Calgary the following weekend and would be dressing in all three games, so that gave me some hope.
I was upset about not playing, but I was excited for the rookie party that was scheduled for after the game. I had never had anything like a rookie party while playing for the Big Green, so I was unsure what to expect. The returning players tasked us with embarrassing missions: dressing up as Disney princesses and making up a rap about the older players. It was fun, and we bonded as a team, but I’m glad being a rookie is a one time thing.
I couldn’t wait to go to Calgary. I was excited to play and stoked to see three alumna — Jenna Cunningham ’10, Reagan Fischer ’12 and Margaux Sharp ’13 -— who all live there. I knew I would play the games, so I didn’t have to stress. Everything seemed to be going well. Then, a few days before we were leaving, I was told that I would no longer travel — a recent cut from the Canadian National Team would take my place on the roster for those games.
I was upset and I felt like nothing I did on the ice would make a difference. I don’t think I’m better than the player who took my place, but I think the situation should have been handled differently. It was hard being the only rookie defender on the team. I had to compete against defensemen who were more experienced and knew the coach better. If I wanted to play on the team, I realized, I would have to be happy not dressing every game, even if I had put in more effort than the other defensemen.
I decided to trade to the only other team in Ontario, the Brampton Thunder. In the Canadian Women’s Hockey league, players can be released or traded if it’s in the best interest of the player or the team. If a player wants to leave, but the team does not want to release her, she can sit out the remainder of the season and rejoin the draft the following year in hopes of getting drafted by another team.
Since joining the Thunder, I have remembered what it feels like to play hockey and enjoy it. Playing for Brampton, everyone is given equal opportunity to prove themselves on the ice. Your ice time is not dependent on your experience or how close you are with the coach, but based on performance, which is how it should be. I have gotten a chance to play and have proven myself on the ice as an impact player. I get a lot of ice time and play both power play and penalty kill. Although Brampton is below Toronto in the standings, I think the team has a lot of promise and will surprise a lot of teams moving forward. I truly believe that moving to Brampton has impacted my career in a positive way and could not be happier with my decision to switch teams. I am very excited for the rest of our games.
