One of the hardest parts about life is learning to deal with rejection. Everyone experiences it, and, much like failure, we must learn from it and move forward. The bottom line is that you cannot always get what you want. That is the way that life works. Get over it.
Let’s talk about what we have going for us. We all have the privilege of getting an education, an Ivy League one at that. Most of us do not have to worry about where our next meal is coming from, and we are not in much physical danger here in Hanover. I could go on and on, but that is not the point. The point is that the problems that most of us have are first world problems. While those are real problems, maybe we should take them a little less seriously.
Now that we have noted the relative insignificance of our problems, let’s talk about how life is not fair.
I first realized this after growing up with an older brother. He and I fought all the time, and because he was two years older, he would always win. I did not like that. In fact, I hated it, but there was nothing I could do about it. It sucked.
In high school, I saw constant disappointment among my peers because they either did not get elected to class council or were not chosen to be a prefect or did not win some award that they had been eyeing since freshman year. Every disappointment reaffirmed the lesson that life is not fair. College acceptances soon rolled around. I witnessed countless deserving classmates get rejected from Ivy League schools. And while most of them still ended up going to great colleges, some were devastated because they thought their hard work and dedication meant they deserved to get into their first choice pick.
The disappointments do not stop in high school. Within Dartmouth, there are numerous clubs, social groups and societies, some of which you have to apply for, some of which you do not. Greek life is a popular topic on campus, so I am going to use it as an example. Greek houses are selective, and not everyone gets into to the house that he or she prefers. Now I want to be clear that I understand that there are issues with the women’s rush process, which leaves many females unaffiliated or in a house that was not their first choice. Additionally, there are, albeit a smaller number, many men that do not get into their house of choice either. It sucks to be rejected and feel like you are not wanted, but eventually, you have to get over it. Greek life may be a big part of the social scene here on campus, but at the end of the day, is it really going to matter?
The same thing goes for the countless other groups like a capella, secret societies, et cetera. Life is not always going to proceed according to your plan, and while it may dampen your mood and make you question your ability and self-worth, you have to move on.
Life only gets more difficult in the real world, especially regarding the job market — something with much greater importance and significance than being a part of a club or a social house here on campus. Tons of people cannot find jobs, and even more do not get the job they want. Additionally, employers will not comfort you, telling you that it’s okay and that you’ll do better next time. You either get the job or you don’t. Once something is done, it is done. Make the most of what you have because sulking and feeling sorry for yourself will not accomplish anything.
Whether we like it or not, rejection is a part of life. It has been a part of life since we were kids, remains a part of life at Dartmouth and will continue to be. Rejection exists everywhere. We must learn to deal with it and stop complaining. There is nothing wrong with rejection here. If anything, it can help us prepare for and deal with the disappointment that we are bound to experience in the future.
