As I sat in FoCo last week, I noticed yet again how close even the most seemingly mundane parts of campus make me feel to my family. Surrounded by hundreds of classmates oblivious to the countless pieces of Dartmouth history covering the walls, I felt uniquely connected to the people who graced the College’s hallowed halls before me.
I looked up at one of the many Winter Carnival posters adorning the walls of FoCo’s dark side and immediately saw my great uncle. He designed the poster in 1953, before each work was required to reflect a different theme for the Carnival. His poster displays a red man, to whom my great uncle bears a striking resemblance, skiing downhill and holding a torch. It’s the same poster that hangs in my stairwell at home and sits in a frame on the mantle in my dorm. It’s one of many aspects that make Dartmouth feel like an extension of home.
Growing up, I was surrounded by seven family members who attended Dartmouth. It’s eight now, if you count my cousin, who is also a current student. As a result, the College and my family’s experiences always seemed to manifest in my everyday life, whether it was through the Dartmouth magnet that hung on my bedroom mirror since before I was tall enough to see it, my dad’s secret society cane perched mysteriously in the corner of his office or enchanting tales of the infamous Bahamas party and Carnival keg jump. Anyone would be inspired by a story as blissfully romantic as my parents’ — they met at the door of Phi Delta Alpha fraternity during their freshman winter.
This infatuation with Dartmouth felt completely normal to me. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized that perhaps the obsession was somehow unique. With no way to gauge my family’s level of Dartmouth insanity, I turned to fellow legacies for reassurance and began to investigate this interesting phenomenon.
Margaret Ramsden ’15, the daughter of two Dartmouth graduates, said that despite looking at other colleges, she found herself comparing each option to Dartmouth.
“I remember pretty much always thinking that I wanted to go to Dartmouth,” she said. “It was my quintessential college experience.”
Only after she had sent in her early application did Ramsden start to feel the pressure to carry on the Dartmouth legacy.
“I knew they wanted me to get in, and I knew I wanted to get in,” Ramsden said. “So now, not just one but three people’s happiness depended on this decision.”
After arriving at the College, Ramsden said the shared Dartmouth experience strengthened her bonds with her parents, something not always easy to do as a 20-something.
Though she appreciates this bond, Ramsden said she has still made a conscious effort to stray from the paths of her parents, whether that means pursuing various interests or joining a different Greek organization. For example, Ramsden decided to join Kappa Delta Epsilon sorority even though her mother had rushed Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority during her time at Dartmouth.
“I came to Dartmouth with the intention of making it my own experience,” she said.
It seems Ramsden’s desire to break the mold set by her family is not unique among Dartmouth legacies. Lulu Carter ’17, a daughter, granddaughter and niece of alumni, said she almost did not apply to Dartmouth because she was worried that attending would prevent her from having an experience that was solely hers.
After spending time on campus, however, her worries were overcome by how welcomed she felt in the community.
“It was very much me not knowing what I wanted or where I would find my place,” Carter said. “It came down to three schools for me, and after Dimensions, I just really realized, ‘This is home. This is where I want to spend the next four years.’”
At the time, however, Carter had no way of knowing just how much like home Dartmouth would feel. One of her close family friends, Ned Southwell ’17, also lived on her freshman floor, which immediately made her feel more comfortable in a place full of strangers.
Southwell and Carter grew up together, attending reunions and Homecomings with their mothers, who are close friends and members of the Class of 1987.
Unlike Carter, Southwell had figured out Dartmouth was home long before application season. He had imagined himself at Dartmouth throughout high school, and knew it was the place he would end up as soon as he received his acceptance letter.
Southwell and Carter first noticed the benefits of being familiar with the College as they navigated their first term. Suddenly, they found themselves with knowledge everyone else was looking for and an awareness of how much their Dartmouth experience could matter.
“It was cool — coming in as a freshman, no one really knew about the frats,” Southwell said. “I had come up to visit my sister [Lizzy Southwell ’15], so I was like the storyteller. Everyone was looking to me for knowledge.”
Carter said that one of the best parts of having a Dartmouth family is that she can better appreciate how significantly the four years can shape the rest of one’s life.
“We’ve both seen what can come of the Dartmouth experience, post-college, especially in terms of the community you surround yourself with,” Carter said. “Some of my biggest role models have been my mom’s best friends from college, and I think I’m very aware that the people I’m meeting right now have the possibility of becoming those people to me.”
Going to Dartmouth has allowed Southwell and Carter to build their own Dartmouth lives on the foundation of their parents’ stories and memories. Carter said that having a history here can make even the simplest moments — like ordering EBAs, which her family always does over Homecoming -— seem special.
“I’ll get struck at random times and just be like, ‘I am so incredibly blessed and so lucky that I get to have this experience and share it with my parents, because they know how I feel,’” Carter said.
Perhaps it is the mutual understanding of such an incredible experience that continues to draw so many legacies here. In a time of so many uncertainties and fears, having common ground with parents can certainly make you feel lucky.
Of course, you don’t have to be a legacy to feel at home at Dartmouth. The community here can become, as Carter put it, “a chosen family,” regardless of whether or not they share your last name.
