I'm not particularly good at pong. At a normal college, this flaw in my coordination or subtle athleticism wouldn't matter, and I'd simply go on with my collegiate life avoiding ping-pong ball related drinking games and red solo cups. But at Dartmouth, pong isn't the sport you know and our drinking game is much more than chucking some hollowed, white sphere into a half-filled cup of warm beer. It pains me to call it a way of life, or a defining social institution at our little, old College but frankly, that's exactly what it is.
As a fraternity member and repressed frat-star, I have humbly declared myself an authority on all matters Dartmouth pong-related and written this handbook, which can hopefully be your guide to taking both fraternity basements and full cups by storm come October. Now '17s, much of this you're going to have to learn from experience there's simply no other way but I promise that if you cut out this article and carry it with you at all times during the first weeks you're permitted to enter fraternities in the fall, it will only serve (no pun intended) you well.
To begin, I have some bad news all that time spent in your parents' garage throwing little plastic balls at cups doesn't matter here. The still North doesn't play the beer pong you high school grads are all familiar with, also known as Beirut. Here, we've devised our own brand. .
Dartmouth pong is played with ping-pong paddles. Not just any paddles us alternative Dartmouth folk can't concede that normalcy to the rest of the ping-pong world. We play with sandpaper paddles with the handles cut off. Although there are a few styles, the most common is holding it in your palm with your thumb and pinky fingers gripping each side of its round face. Small hands? Flip the paddle upside down or hold it like you would hold out a piece of paper, with your thumb and index finger.
Before you get too eager, you've got to find a partner and you've got to venture into a fraternity or sorority basement. Once you're there, you've got to look around and decide on the nicest, least skilled or best-looking frat or sorority-star in the place, and ask a simple question: "What's line?"
This means you're interested in playing and would like to be put on the proverbial waiting list for a game on said brother or sister's table. As freshmen, you will likely get a response of "fours" or "fives," which means that three or four games will be played until it is your turn. This brings us to the most exciting part of this handbook, the rules!
The object of the game is simple make your opposing team drink all of their cups before you have to drink yours. The cups are usually filled with beer, namely Keystone, but in some cases (no pun intended again!) it's water.
The game is played on a large wooden table with some type of median (usually a ski) separating each side. The size of the table depends on "house rules," which are a specific set of rules each fraternity or sorority decides to play under.
The cups are arranged in a 10-cup triangle formation similar to the rack you are all used to in Beirut, but an additional cup is added to the bottom of the rack. Called "tree," this set up is the most common rack in the game. Players looking to play shorter games can use the more petite "shrub," which has seven cups.
The game is similar to doubles ping-pong. Dartmouth pong starts every point on a serve, during which the server bounces the ball from his or her side of the table to the player directly across, or diagonal, on the other team. The first serve is decided with a quick ruit-style showdown whoever throws the ball into a cup in their opponents rack first will be on the receiving end of the serve.
The serve, as well as every normal hit in the game, must be above shoulder height. If it's lower, the culprit will be forced to serve the ball again to their opponent. If you hit your opponents' rack on a serve, you must drink from your own, which is a confidence-depleting event, let me tell you. You get two or three chances to get your serve right, depending on the house rules, but if your serve is good, then the player receiving the serve begins the rally by attempting to sink the ball into the opponents' cups.
Hits alternate between players, so if you serve to your opponent, your teammate must return your opponent's shot. Play stops if a shot is hit off the table, too low, or if the ball hits or sinks a cup.
If you sink your opponents' cup, they must drink or throw it out. Easy enough. And, unique to Dartmouth pong, a ball that hits but does not sink a cup is still worth something. If your shot hits the rim and bounces away, your opponent must drink a half. If a cup is hit on your opponents rack, he or she has the opportunity to save the shot by hitting the airborne ball back over the median. It's harder than it sounds, but one can earn the status of a basement hero by perfecting the half cup, off-the-foot save.
Now that's a broad overview of the rules that are likely very confusing, frustrating or exhilarating depending on your beer-drinking history. With this summary of our game, I have given you all the tools to be the frattiest, sweetest and most knowledgeable '17s in the books.
Good luck, and in the event that you are less pong-oriented than the tennis or squash recruits will inevitably be, I promise there is more to the Dartmouth social scene than pong even if it takes you a little while to see it.
