How to Make New Friends During 12X

Take Astro 2 or 3, Classics 4 or Psych 25. If you're like me, take all three. I'm still not sure if I should be embarrassed by this schedule or really proud. More to come on whether I actually make friends or just spend the entire term playing Bubble Spinner and making snarky comments to people I already know.

1. Invest in a cordless blender and make frozen drinks at the River docks. Just don't go ledge jumping or something right afterwards that would be irresponsible.
2. During nights out, camp out at the houses that just got puppies and befriend the dozens of girls who will inevitably come looking for a snuggle. While this may not be the best way to find your formal date, it's a sure shot at bonding with some seriously cute canines.
3. Join a summer group that you didn't get into during freshman fall. Now's your chance to redeem yourself and get some fun 12X gear. Who doesn't like a nice pinnie?
4. Host a Baker-Berry Tour de Franzia, culminating with a boat race in the 1902 Room. Corral cool-looking bystanders and make them join your team. Day drinking is, like, such a thing.
5. If you are outdoorsy, go on a STRIP. If you forgot to sign up, sneak onto a STRIP. Or raid one. Do what you gotta do, man! If you are like me, revel in the fact that you have access to showers and toilets while your classmates have to sleep in the woods and hide from bears.

Celebrate random holidays loudly and festively. For example, all of August is Panini Month. Go Topless Day is Aug. 26. Whose job is it to come up with these things anyway?

1. Host an Olympics party. All the enmity between Yankees and Red Sox fans will disappear in the face of our common enemy the rest of the world. USA! USA! USA!
2. If you're still reading this, turn to your neighbor preferably a stranger and comment on how glad you are that this article is over.