A couple weeks ago I discovered a new passion. Surprisingly, Hanover decided to give us one good week of weather, so I spent an entire Saturday afternoon enjoying the gorgeous sunshine. I was expecting a calm and relaxing day because the entire campus seemed entranced by the idyllic weather.
After lazily meandering around campus, I ended up some place I did not expect the tennis courts. Once I was within earshot of the courts, the roar of a rowdy crowd shattered my zen-like mentality. The match against the Princeton (douchebag) Tigers had just started and the (mostly positive) chants from the eager Dartmouth fans could be heard from the Green. I felt the energy, and I wanted to be a part of it, so I sprinted to the middle of the student section and screamed as loud as I could.
Before that Saturday, I never realized how much fun it could be to turn a "classy" sporting event like a tennis match into a good old-fashioned, rowdy rager. Typically, tennis matches are depicted as afternoon getaways for the rich and famous. I think of pastel polo shirts and white shorts. People sip seltzer water and quietly clap after a player wins a point. The crowd is normally unbiased because it's not "classy" to cheer against someone.
The Dartmouth-Princeton match was the complete opposite. This is Dartmouth, and we do things our own way.
At Dartmouth, we don't care about being prestigious or "classy." We crush Keystone Light (that's always smooth), and we don't bother washing off pong balls when they land in a pool of frat slush. We don't mind walking through three feet of snow to get to class, and we sure as hell don't have any exclusive "Eating Clubs" where fancy chefs prepare fancy meals.
At Dartmouth, we're not afraid to do things differently. Our tennis fans are rowdy. We are loud, obnoxious and not afraid to show who we are rooting for. Our cheers were no different than those during football or hockey games. One student even recited the inspirational pre-game speech from "Miracle" (2004) to will the Big Green to victory. The referees hated us they even went so far as to give Princeton players points when our cheering breached the "etiquette" expected of fans. We took big stadium cheering and brought it to our little tennis courts.
Going against the grain is fun. We took a sport and "Dartmouthized" it. After that day, I was inspired to bring rowdiness to other "classy" sporting events. These are some sports that I think could benefit from a little extra energy in the bleachers.
- Golf
Imagine how much more entertaining golf would be if the crowd was more animated. "Happy Gilmore" (1996) is one of my all-time favorite movies because it demonstrated precisely this fact. If the crowd gets more emotional, the athletes will as well. Just imagine watching a golfer freak out and break his putter after a bad miss or seeing an elated major winner swan dive into a water hazard. There's so much potential here.
- Figure Skating
It's hard to get excited when you are watching people skate to music from "The Little Mermaid" (1989). We need to take a hint from "Blades of Glory" (2007) and blast loud, aggressive music during every set. I would definitely pay money to see people ice dance to Soulja Boy's "Turn My Swag On."
- Bowling
Little known secret: Bowling alleys are stocked full of booze. We've all been to a football or hockey game where the atmosphere gets more rowdy as people down more Buds. If every PBA Tour event ticket included an open bar, the TV ratings would soar.
Honorable MentionsPolo: Getting hyped up would make this snooty sport bearable, but I'm not quite sure the horses would appreciate the extra noise as much as I would. Marathons: It's impossible to stay energized for an entire marathon. You can try, but it's not good for your health. NASCAR: I've never mentioned anything about the pride of the South in my column. I probably never will again. This sport is rowdy enough I don't think it could handle any more rowdiness. Rhythmic Gymnastics: I usually forget this is a sport. There aren't a lot of ways to convince people to attend these events. Fencing: Never heckle anyone with a sword.
