Almost two years ago to the day, I picked up this newspaper and read a now-infamous column written by senior Mirror columnist Matthew Ritger '10 ("The Gospel According to Matthew," Oct. 9, 2009). In the column, Ritger warned sophomores not to rush a fraternity or sorority. He warned me.
I thought his column was interesting. But I rushed anyway, and ended up pledging a sorority. Since then, I've spent a lot of time wondering if the choice I made two years ago was the right one.
I feel bittersweet about our social scene. At times I think the Greek scene does foster a sense of community. The inclusivity of our open fraternities undoubtedly allows everyone at least the opportunity to experience what it's like to "party" in college. And many students do have positive experiences in Greek houses. Both my love for Dartmouth and my faith in the student body have been reaffirmed during the many times I have gone out and watched excited freshmen dance at their first Tri-Kap dance party or observed brothers taking care of intoxicated strangers.
From an objective standpoint, I don't necessarily think participating in the Greek scene is that harmful. After a grueling week of studying, the desire to socialize or go to a party is only natural, after all. As time has passed, however, I have increasingly felt that the scene carries an inherent sadness. When I would go out to fraternities, I began hearing people saying the same things more and more: "This sucks, I need to be more drunk to be here." I would see incoherent girls throw themselves at sweaty brothers who would push them aside to make a better pong serve. I would see brothers chug water to make themselves vomit because they knew their bodies couldn't handle that much alcohol.
The truth is, in the past three years, I have watched several people destroy themselves in the Greek scene, and I have watched others normalize what happened to them as "just the way things are." I have seen this toxic lifestyle override commitments to academics, to athletics, to community service and to Dartmouth. I have seen some of the most intelligent and talented people black out repeatedly every term, but still get by academically because they truly are that talented. Others have transferred out of this school because this social scene has destroyed their passions, values and ideals.
I think the real problem arises when, for some, Greek life transforms from an occasional extracurricular into a lifestyle. Into an identity. This happens more readily to those affiliated with fraternities or sororities, but is by no means limited to those students.
Most people seek out the Greek scene because they want a sense of belonging, a community and "real friends." I think a lot of people at Dartmouth feel incredibly lost sometimes. I certainly do. Unfortunately, students often end up disappointed when they eventually realize what it took me a long time to figure out: There is no meaning in our social scene. With the convenient excuse of intoxication, every word, every action, every behavior and every commitment is automatically nullified once you step into a Greek house. This does not mean that you can't form meaningful relationships in the Greek scene. It means that you can't go in with any expectations, or you will be disappointed.
When I joined my sorority two years ago, I thought it would change things if I found my "niche" at Dartmouth. True, it was exciting to meet new people when I first joined, but then the novelty wore off and things changed. Everyone around me began settling into the "Dartmouth identity" they had chosen for themselves, but something about my choice just felt wrong for me. Deep down I knew that I didn't fit in well in a sorority, but I felt trapped. After joining a house, I felt I couldn't turn back after so much time had passed and everyone else had somewhere they belonged.
Now in my senior year, I am no longer part of a sorority. However, when people ask me if I think they should join a house, I still hesitate about what to say. While I did waste a lot of time thinking that the Greek scene was more than it is, I do feel as though I gained a stronger sense of myself from my experience, if only in that I now know what I am not. In spite of this though, a part of me still wishes I had listened to Matthew Ritger that day. There are some truly beautiful and inspirational people at Dartmouth, and I know that if I had devoted my time to other places on campus during my sophomore year, I would have met them sooner.
So two years later, in my open letter to the Class of 2014, this is my advice, for what it's worth:
Rush for the experience. Pledge if you want, but know that the meaningful relationships you form at Dartmouth will not be with arbitrary "sisters" and "brothers" but with the specific individuals you could meet in any organized group on campus. Above all though, don't lose yourself in the scene as others before you have.
