Truth: It's time for senioritis to kick in.
This is it my last term as an undergraduate at Dartmouth College. And I'm not quite sure how to cope. There's still so much to do. Write a thesis. Pass my classes. Figure out next year. Blah, blah. I know. You don't care. The problem is that I don't care either. Welcome to senior Spring, aka "Holy Guacamole, Batman! I'm graduating! There's still so much to do! but all I want to do is hang out."
I've never been more tempted to run back sophomore Summer than I am now. Barbecues. Lounging at the docks. Weekend excursions. The possibilities were endless. You'll know what I mean soon enough, '13s. Those were the golden days of my youth. Now, saddled with so many responsibilities and faced with such a short timeline, I'm starting to get that old itch of irresponsibility again. Senioritis. It's going to be the death of me.
I used to wonder why seniors seemed so disengaged by Spring. You know what I mean they're always checked out in class, nonchalantly sipping a possibly spiked Collis smoothie.
Now I'm starting to understand. It's hard to stay driven. We've been driven for four years. We've done pretty much all we can do. It's not like we're going to create an entirely new campus persona in one term, complete with new friends and a kickass wardrobe change. In the words of Ke$ha, "We are who we are."
Senior Spring reminds me of the quote, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." (Or "carpe diem" if you like the CliffsNotes version.) We're currently standing at the brink of a lot of new experiences. And let me tell you, it's overwhelming. A friend and I were just talking about how it is much more difficult to fall asleep at night than it used to be. Personally, I think all the worries and anxieties we harbor about next year are the root of said insomnia. It's a lot to have to think about during the day and now, during the night. So we begin to disengage. But honestly, can you really fault us for it? Please don't confuse our disengagement with apathy. Many of us have come to care so much about this school and all that we've fought to accomplish in our four short years. The problem is that we can't keep fighting. Our time has come and gone, and we're on our way out. It's time to pass the torch and burn the candle at both ends. After all, who doesn't want to go out with a bang?
If they haven't already, nostalgia and sentimentality will slowly begin to creep into all our experiencese at Dartmouth. Everything we do will become paramount a "last" of sorts. I apologize in advance for how self-centered I plan to be. But hey, I just want to have as much fun with everyone while I still can. We have to take advantage of every second we still have together. And even though that may sound trite, we have to say these ridiculous things while we still can, even though we are fully aware of how ridiculous we sound. We can pretend it's ironic.
