Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you read Harry Potter, though chances are you weren't quite as dorky as I was. Proof: My hometown newspaper reported, "When Sarah Frostenson turned 10, she was disappointed she did not receive an acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I had convinced myself I would get a letter and when I didn't, I was really disappointed,' Frostenson said." Needless to say, this little gem of a news story did not earn me a lot of popularity points back in the day.
The fact that I would also dress up in wizard attire for Harry Potter film debuts didn't help either. All the way up to film four, no less. Clearly, I was the coolest.
I think my fascination with Harry Potter stemmed from the magical objects found in J.K.'s wizarding world: Floo Powder. Harry's Invisibility cloak. The Marauder's Map. And of course, Hermione's Time Turner.
What I wouldn't do for a Time Turner now. I've given a lot of thought to which magical object I would want from Harry Potter if I could only choose one. And I've decided it's the Time Turner. Even though the Marauder's Map would be pretty sweet. Just think of all the possible shenanigans: Thwarting S&S by finally achieving the blue light challenge (do people actually do this?), stealing fraternity paraphernalia without getting caught and of course, pranking my peers without ever getting caught. I'd be Dartmouth's own little Peeves, wreaking havoc wherever I roamed.
But alas, it is the Time Turner I seek. Sleek, sand-granule hourglass, how I long for thee! You could turn back all my all-nighters and get me the sleep I need! With you as my trusty sidekick, I could go to all sorts of educationally enriching events I've been meaning to attend, but never had the time to take advantage of. I could finally explore all that Dartmouth has to offer I could frequent the jewelry studio, make artful masterpieces in addition to taking rock climbing for my PE while acing all my classes without even breaking a sweat.
But wait, who am I kidding? Time Turner, if you were indeed in my possession, I would use you mostly to sleep. Or to hang out with my friends. Because the fact is, I wouldn't want to make the 10 weeks in a Dartmouth term any longer than they already are. Dartmouth is exhausting, but not because there are only 10 weeks. It's because we try to do too much in a 10-week period.
Attempting to cram our whole Dartmouth experience into the span of one term is one of the most foolish things we do as Dartmouth students. Yet without fail, we try to do it each term as if we actually had Time Turners. But by the end, we've managed to create unrealistic expectations that no Dartmouth term can ever live up to. Which is why a term at Dartmouth always feels so cyclical. Euphoric in the beginning, mind-numbingly painful in the middle, utterly disengaging (interspersed with fitful rallying) by the end. Like Hermione in The Prisoner of Azkaban we become too obsessed with trying to do everything instead of prioritizing what it is we actually want to do.
Divination with Trelawney sucked Hermione learned this the hard way. And in book three we watched the lovable, nerdy Hermione Granger go from a charming schoolgirl to "Hermione Granger the Deranged." Which, when you think about it, is how most of us start and finish a term at Dartmouth. Dorky and lovable with a zest for learning in the beginning. Crazy and murderously psychotic with an unhealthy addiction to caffeine by the end. Ten weeks of madness. I realize now that even with a Time Turner, you couldn't make me go back and do it all again.
So forget what I said earlier. Give me the Marauder's Map instead.
