As a secret hoarder, I've kept many files on my computer over the years a file of successes, a file of failures (I'll let you guess which is larger) and more impromptu .doc journals than you'd care to know. I even have a BlitzMail folder titled "lessons learned." Stick around here for four years and I guarantee you'll get some scathing blitzes. Some you probably even deserved.
I don't really know why I've gotten into the habit of holding onto things, but I guess there's just something about the written word that sticks with me. Tell me I suck to my face and I'm likely to forget, but write me a blitz about it and I'll pore over it for years to come. There's just something about writing that is so permanent, so final. And what I've come to realize in my four years at Dartmouth is that I don't reflect enough. By having a written record of my successes and failures on hand, I can remind myself of my faults when I feel too cocky and of my successes when I'm feeling down in the dumps.
It's a pretty good system it keeps me somewhat grounded, at least. And we could all use a little grounding here. Because let's face it it's just so easy to lose sight of ourselves in this place.
We all used to be the best at what we did. As one of my friends says, we each used to be the most interesting person in the room. And so we grew accustomed to people paying attention to us.
Now we have to compete to get noticed by anyone. Who knew once we got to Dartmouth, there'd be an application for everything?
And there are hundreds of ways for us to divide ourselves. But I've talked about that all before our fascination with labels and so-called "social capital." Don't worry, I won't do it again. What I'll do instead is urge you to get over yourself, and I'll do the same.
Hate to break it to you, but you're not the best thing since sliced bread. So stop acting like you have a monopoly over the tables at Collis. Behind your Ray Bans, you too have a soul. I'm just as likely to dismiss you as a vapid socialite without any real substance or depth as much as you are to dismiss me as an insincere, stuck-up do-gooder who pretends to care about saving the world through social justice. Valid points all around.
The fact of the matter is, none of us are as great as we think we are. So why do we choose to dismiss each other by making snappy judgments? Beats me, but it needs to stop.
Don't kid yourself: Just because you care about issues of social justice and diversity doesn't mean someone who hangs out in a basement doesn't. And by the same token, if you go out all the time, don't think someone who rarely parties in frat basements doesn't know how to unwind. Because it's when we construct these binaries about campus life that we begin to lose our own footing and begin to project inaccurate images upon ourselves and others.
Such dismissiveness divides us and drives us to compete in the unhealthiest of ways: It becomes a competition based driven by what kind of person you are. Are you a good person? A not-so-great one? Somewhere in between? Granted, I may be blowing the campus interactions I've seen over the years out of proportion, but the obsession with our affiliations and activities defining us as "good people" is not only misinformed, but to be perfectly honest, insulting as well.
We may compete for many reasons, but it shouldn't be because we think we are a fundamentally better person than someone else. Get over yourself.
