Fact: You are never on time.
Dartmouth prepares us for many things in life, but being punctual is not one of them. There's this thing called Dartmouth time, and it means you never have to actually be on time.
You know how it is. Stroll in five minutes late to a meeting and no one bats an eyelash chances are the meeting hasn't even started yet. Stroll in 10 minutes late, and maybe you get a look or two, but it's really not until you start pushing 20 or 30 minutes that people stare at you incredulously. And even then, not always.
The phenomenon of being perpetually late at Dartmouth is something we've all experienced and been guilty of far more than we care to admit. So what's the deal? Can we really not tell time?
Of course we can tell time we just prioritize our time above everyone else's.
Exhibit A:
You are hungry but running late to meet with students in your class about a project. You have three options:
a) Ignore your hunger and show up as the dutiful project member you are, more or less on time.
b) Act on your hunger and make a quick beeline for Novack. Grab your scone and tea to go, yo. But in your haste, you forget to grab a cup holder and so you suffer mild third-degree burns. What can I say? Karma's a bitch. And you're 10 minutes late.
c) Go all out. Design your own FoCo sandwich. Make it a real piece of art lettuce with a smattering of pickles, a thin layer of dijon mustard and a sprinkling of sprouts. Toast your bread. Pull out all the bells and whistles. Then grab some yogurt-covered pretzels for your group members just to show you care. End result: You're 30 minutes late. And unsurprisingly, nobody wants a yogurt covered pretzel. They just want back all the time you wasted.
Exhibit B:
You really need to shower but if you shower you'll be 15 minutes late to a breakfast date. The plot thickens: Your breakfast date texts you saying she's on her way and looking forward to seeing you. THINK FAST what do you do?
a) A no-brainer take a two-minute shower and then walk from the River to the Hop in less than five minutes. Text that you'll be running a little late, but don't quantify it. Five minutes is practically 15 minutes anyway. Who's really counting? Only your breakfast date, who watched the grill line go from reasonable to out the door and down the hall.
b) Grab a cap, some bobby pins and an ample helping of deodorant and you're good to go. And sort of on time. Although you've definitely looked better.
c) Flake on your breakfast date. Who schedules a breakfast date at 9 a.m. on a weekday anyway? You, you jerk. You scheduled it. Oops.
"I'm sure they'll understand," you say. "Who doesn't run a little late every now and then?"
And you know, I'd be apt to agree with you and excuse your tardiness like some cute little hiccup that couldn't be helped if I didn't happen to know your tardiness and my tardiness is more like a nasty, old, recurring belch that stinks up the room long before we're actually there to stink it up.
It starts simple. Ten minutes late to a dinner with friends. But then it worsens. More than an hour late to a group project meeting on a Saturday morning, because you drank too much the night before.
Until it finally becomes inexcusable. Slept through a friend's birthday party because you pulled an all-nighter the night before to do work you could have done earlier if only you had managed your time better.
And it happens again and again until a vicious pattern of tardiness emerges, because nobody ever calls us out for being tardy in the first place.
Think about it. The last time you were late, did someone turn to you and say, "Hey, the fact that you were over 15 minutes late kind of sucks. You wasted my time. And my time is just as valuable as your time. Could you please try to be on time in the future?"
Probably not. But you know what, I wish they did.
I wish that as members of the Dartmouth community we, myself included, would respect each other's time more.
Instead of overbooking and overscheduling and then having to rebook and reschedule, I wish we would just make time for each other in the first place. And actually show up to something early for a change.
