The phrase "Worst Term Ever" gets thrown around a lot these days. So much so, in fact, that it is losing its descriptive power. Bad grades? Worst term ever. Foco's closed? Worst term ever. Herpes? Worst term ever. Okay, so only one of those actually qualifies as the worst term ever, but you get the idea. Sometimes shit happens that is so disastrous that out of every term that has ever been and ever will be, this one term is the worst of them all.
If you're an optimist, you might be looking forward to hitting the slopes and shredding the gnar, or wearing your furry Russian hat, or the opportunity to hide your figure in multiple layers (I know I am) or the chance to score some sweet new jackets at various parties. If you're a realist, you may already be joking that this will be the "worst term ever" (especially if you're the funny one in your group of friends, you jokester). I don't know you.
The biggest problem with the phrase "worst term ever," is that it is entirely contingent on the individual who utters it. One man's trash is another man's treasure. There is a high possibility that a girl going through winter rush will bombard her friends with "worst term ever's." If a winter athlete injures his or herself in the midst of a promising season, it might very well be their worst term ever. If a valedictorian-hopeful gets below the median in one or two classes you guessed it, worst term ever. The thing is, there are just so many ways to have the worst term ever that it's sort of depressing. However, I do know one way to make this term so bad it crosses the "funny story-bad" line and strays into the realm of post traumatic stress disorder. Consider this a lesson on what not to do.
DON'T attempt to complete any of the outdoor Dartmouth Seven. Now, this may disappoint some of you who were hoping to get those last few pesky places under your belt before the D-plan tears that special someone away but take my word for it: It's just not worth it. It is universally acknowledged that completion of the Dartmouth Seven makes you a Legend. However, a lesser-known fact is that if you're stupid enough to complete any of these during the blustery winter months, your status is degraded to a mere legend. Note the lowercase. It doesn't matter if you and your special somebody have the perfect The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe winter wonderland role-playing sesh going on just don't do it. Keep in mind what happens to your tongue when you lick a frozen railroad track or a metal pole. Now imagine the equivalent situation during completion of one of the Dartmouth Seven. Yeah, that would qualify as the worst term ever. Take heart Dartmouth students: a little common sense (and a lot of self-restraint) goes a long way. Heed my advice if you want to avoid having the worst term yet.
