'14 Girl: Is the walk of shame less shameful if you do it in a onesie?
'12 KDE about a new pledge: Isn't she gorgeous? We talked during round one and her eyes just DELVED into me.
'12 Girl: I need a child. My mom told me I should go on birth control, and I was like, hell no.
'14 Girl: So I was flitzing with my mom the other day ...
'11 Guy: I have to mail two letters today. One is an application to teach, and the other is a petition to anull my criminal record.
'11 Tri Delt: What are your silly bandz?'11 AD: This one is a horse, and this one is a sheriff's badge. My mom got me the Wild West pack for my Christmas stocking.
'12 Girl: If I don't have a job by senior Spring, I'm going to start skanking around at Tuck.
'14 at the front of the pasta line: Do you guys have anything besides pasta?
'13 tour guide: I hate it when I have to poop before I give a tour.
'11 Kappa: Why are you crying?'11 Chi Gam: I just watched Schindler's List on my iPad.
'11 Kappa Delt: I don't want to drink anymore because I might boot, and that would be a waste of alcohol.
'12 Guy: I'm feeling a little snaj right now'12 Other guy: That literally means nothing.
'14 Guy: It's not cancerous. It just looks like a raisin.
'11 Tri Delt: I'd rather chug a quick six than bake any day.
