A 4.0 at Dartmouth is like a leprechaun. If you're like me and have a permanent seat on the struggle bus, you've likely heard stories about students with 4.0s but can't ever really know for sure who does and doesn't have one until the valedictorians are announced senior year. Although most of us won't be able to maintain 4.0s throughout our college careers, with the right tools it is very possible achieve that feat at least one term during your four years at Dartmouth. It's an ambitious but admirable goal. But the question is, how might one reach such elusive perfection this Winter?
First off, be realistic. Did Ke$ha think up "Pedicure on our toes, toes/Tryin' all our clothes, clothes/Boys blowin' up our phones, phones" all in one day? No, that lyrical masterpiece took days, months, maybe even years of serious thought, careful planning and determination to achieve her goals. Similarly, as Dartmouth students, we need to set reasonable goals. Set an academic target you know you can achieve and stick with it until you've got glitter on your eyes.
According to some, a foolproof strategy for getting straight As is to take the "holy trinity," or three courses traditionally labeled easy "gut" courses (think Astro, the monkey class, etc.). It seems reasonable that professors would have mercy on our frozen souls during the hellish Hanover winter and reward us with an easy A, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Sorry, guess you'll have to wait until sophomore Summer.
Spacing out classes is perhaps of even greater importance. What's the point of going to class if you blackout halfway through the discussion? If you need that mid-morning power nap, don't take drill, 9, 10, 11 aim instead for a 10, 12, 2A schedule. Or if you tend to sleep through your first three alarms, you might be better off taking a 12, 2A and 3A. And if Monday or Wednesday nights are important to you (God knows why ), do your future hungover self a favor and don't sign up for a 10A.
Showing up for class is only the first step toward attaining 4.0 perfection to really make the grade, office hours are crucial. For professors, office hours are the facetime equivalent of First Floor Berry, i.e. the prof may think you're actually legit if you go. Office hours provide the opportunity for a beautiful teacher-student relationship to blossom. After all, how did Dumbledore and Harry become such biffles? Office hours.
But even after you've selected the three easiest courses available and have had coffee with your professors multiple times, you must still beware the greatest pitfall of the 4.0 dream: distraction.
The 1902 Room is a perfect example of what not to do. Every person in the room is either taking intermittent smoking breaks, watching hilarious kitten/pony (or kitten AND pony?!) YouTube videos, napping, having an emotional breakdown (NBD) or tweeting about how the room is filled with people "like, totally on adderall lol #immiserableinhere." Nobody's actually getting anything done, so I guess the best thing to do is "hide your kids, hide your wife" and hide your MacBook, Blitz, crackberry, iPhone and iPad too.
It's important to remember that good grades are 50 percent physical and 50 percent mental. The work atmosphere is critical to achieving high grades. Perhaps surprisingly, the good ol' stacks are a fortress of productivity (none of this 3FB facetime crap). Like a Heorot dance party, writing an essay in the stacks may be slow and scary at the beginning, but in the end it's a sweaty, all-around good time.
Most importantly (clich alert!), do your best to enjoy the Hanover winter. Happiness, if anything, will greatly improve one's academic performance. After all, why should a number define who you are as a person? Do any of us run around comparing our mile times, or how much we can bench press? Don't sweat the small stuff the D on your English essay probably stands for "dope job" anyway. As Willow Smith so eloquently put it, "Don't let haters keep me off my grind/Keep my head up I know I'll be fine/Keep fighting until I get there."
Here's to getting the grades (or at least the NRO) that will make us competitive for that Goldman Sachs/D.C./Gusanoz internship.
