'11 Premed: Like, your grades don't matter if you want to be an ibanker, you just have to be in Theta Delt.
'12 Panarchist: My dog doesn't smoke weed, but I know dogs that do.
'12 Guy on London FSP: Oh, are we on the way to Canterbury? Because if so then I've got a few tales to tell...
Gov prof: If you read the news, you'd hear that pirates throw the best parties.
'14 Guy: Yeah, not showering is all part of my new look.
'11 Guy: A sports bra does not make for effective spooning.
'13 Psi U: I've always thought about going to law school after graduating as a history major, but being in Psi U has made me want to be an investment banker.
'12 Chi Gam: I'm not creepy, I'm just really good at stalking.
'14 talking to his friend about a job at Google: I use google every day so I'm guessing I'm a pretty strong client for them, I'll send them an e-mail and see what I can do.