We are at a crossroads (visual aid: X). So far, I've managed to convince myself that because it's called "sophomore Summer" I'm still an underclassman, but as the term winds down I'll be forced to accept the bitter truth that as '12s, we've officially transitioned to the other side of the X.
Whether or not you see the X factor in terms of relationships, after two years of learning and beginnings I'm sure we all have our fair share of regrets, or at least things we would have done differently. (Aside: there is a wikiHow on "How to Overcome Serious Regrets" let's hope I'm never desperate enough to use it.)
While there isn't a standout moment I wish I could go back and change, I can't help but wish that the past two years had been more fulfilling. Curious, I asked my peers what they wish they had done differently and found a lot of the same.
It seems that Dartmouth students generally fall into two sets: those who wish they had hung out more and those who wish they had raged less.
As one '10 said about sophomore Summer, "Basements and pong are great, but often by the end of the summer the whole thing blends together, whether by drunkenness or by general mundaneity."
Whether or not you're willing to believe that pong will indeed get old eventually (and hoping that your memory is still intact when the day comes), I think most would agree that it's refreshing to venture out of the basement and into the daylight.
'12 guy: "I regret not hanging out in a non-drinking context as much freshman year. I'm just starting to meet a lot of cool '12s in sober contexts this summer whom I wish I met earlier on."
I've also heard others say they wish they had spent more time hanging out instead of worrying about school. Either way, the basement is neither the source of nor the solution to your problems. As one of my dearest friends said, "The scariest thing I realized about the frat culture was that my own insecurities and paralysis was equally or more influential in holding me back and keeping me alone, and that I couldn't just blame it on the frat scene.'"
It seems that 10X has been a reflective term for many.
"I wish I'd been less self-centered."
I think a lot of us are guilty of this I know I am. We become obsessed with the organizations we are part of, they're all we can talk about. It's all too easy to get tied up in a jumble of Greek letters and acronyms here. There's nothing wrong with being involved, but it's important not to let the letters define you. It's easy to think about yourself all of the time, it's a lot harder to actually listen to others.
"I wish I'd been more spontaneous."
I agree and add the following: I wish I had laughed more. I wish I had been more curious about Dartmouth about my peers, exploring this campus, learning its history, getting to know my professors. I wish I had been less scared of failure and embarrassment. But I didn't feel comfortable here and I wasn't confident enough in myself and not smart enough to fake it so I spent a lot of time bailing and hiding.
Now, I miss my freshman floor (Hi Byrne II floor 2!). Don't you? I didn't realize how different and insular your residence community becomes after freshman year. I miss my FSP friends, getting lost with them on the Beijing subway. I regret not spending more time with both, regret falling out of touch with them.
But my freshman floor and FSP weren't unique. They are memorable because I was challenged to get to know and respect 20 random people, instead of relying on the same social circles that we fall into all too easily and then let define us at Dartmouth.
I regret not taking advantage of the newness of freshman year to make friends and challenge myself and learn and love. I regret not seeking relationships with professors and taking advantage of office hours until my sophomore Winter. I regret being shy and not taking initiative. It's too easy to have transient relationships here, and the D-Plan doesn't help things much. There are more people you could be good friends with than you'd think. I think most seniors don't realize this until their Senior Spring.
I hope we can realize earlier. I don't want to be regretting the same things two years from now. I don't want anyone else to be, either and sophomore Summer is the last time we'll all be together before senior Fall rolls around.
This term has been by far the weirdest and the most rewarding. I feel like 10X has dragged on for ages and yet I can't believe we're nearly done. I have never been so exhausted in my life. I barely sleep, but it's clearly not because I've been doing work. I've been in Robinson Hall for the Dartmouth Daily Update more times than I care to count. And you know what? It's fine.
Earlier this week, while the thunderstorm raged outside, I sat on Fourth Floor Berry with two people I love, laughing hysterically yet terrified of the giant spiders crawling on the glass. In that utterly bizarre moment, I realized something important. For the first time, I can honestly say that I like this place.
My biggest regret? That every term before 10X wasn't like this.
