Well before Bruiser and Fratz knelt before the Editorial Board and were knighted "The Legends," the two dreamed a dream that surpasses Floren face time and Billy Bob breakfasts: to become the foremost pong experts in the world (or at least the Hanover bubble).
Many people think that the Legends met through a mutual childhood friend or on the lightweight crew team, but they do not know the real story.
Ludlow who spent a year in Boston after his senior year of high school (extended summer vacation) made the trek to Hanover many times during his pre-fratriculation period and learned the ways of the Dartmouth pastime early and often. So, when he arrived at school in 08F, he could already boast about his throw save and tell you how many serves were used at each house (two or three).
Ludlow decided to create a class in Collis Miniversity (Thinking About Sinking) that would instruct other freshmen on the game. Katz, on hearing this, immediately deemed the cocky Ludlow a worthy frosh adversary (Katz totally held table during Dimensions).
The two "bumped" into each other at a Fuel dance party, fresh paddles in hand and blue Powerades in their backpack side-holsters. The next step was clear. Best two out of three, one-v-one Tree, wherever they could get on table (Bissell basement).
Soon, the normal Smack-Talk by the two ("Hey man, was that low? Oh wait, it sunk.") dissolved into mutual respect as they realized their exceedingly high statuses, spins and sink-to-hit fratios. Both were "really good at sports in high school" and both had "super hot girlfriends from the West Coast, currently starring as extras on The O.C., The Hills, Laguna Beach or Burn Notice. Yeah, Burn Notice is sick."
By the end of their friendship lunch in Thayer (still rookies, hadn't learned about the Hop yet), they realized they were destined to become CHIEFs (Cup-Hitters In Every Frat) and declare themselves as CS (Cup Sinking) majors.
One thing led to another, and here they are pong partners, Legends and co-authors of the forthcoming book, "Sandpaper Dreams: How to Never Step Off Table" and hit (get it, hit) single, "The Pong Song ft. Sisqo."
And thus in honor of Green Key also known as Christmas the Legends present a "State of the Pong" insight into a sport where the athletes need neither abs nor handle, just a will to chill (and preferably a racket sports background).
Pong dates back to the early 1950s, when a stray shot in a friendly ping-pong match landed in the cup of a spectating fraternity brother. The "Sink Heard Round the World," as it came to be called, greatly affected all observers that day, though none more than the "Sinker" who was quoted as saying, "Not until the birth of my son, Nigel, did I see anything as beautiful as that sink, that splash. It felt so right and I wanted more."
Cups were immediately added to the table and thus pong was conceived.
Pong is now the most visible sport on campus, requiring gentle footwork (only so much movement on a sticky floor), basic hand-eye coordination (you're just hitting a ball) and, more than anything, sustained focus, regardless of the music (songs featuring Akon), the Smack-Talk (don't get frattled) or seemingly insurmountable comeback (pong doesn't matter until there are four cups left, so don't worry).
Dartmouth pong breaks down into three schools of thought: serves, saves or sororities, which we will now explain to you. First, there are the houses like Chi Gamma Epsilon and Kappa Kappa Kappa that stress the value of a spin-serve, also known as "Tasting the Rainbow."
"[A spin serve] can completely neutralize an opponent, guarantees victory over freshmen and can make non-adjusting opponents look absolutely foolish. Table's over here buddy," one Chi Gam '10 noted.
Other houses, such as Alpha Delta, Theta Delta Chi, Psi Upsilon and Chi Heorot (Google Maps/Off Frat Row), allow for body use, but no team saves. This creates a culture of aggressive individual saving and long hours logged at the gym in the quest for a larger area to shield the ball. When asked about his pong strategy, one Theta Delt simply replied, "PONG!!!!"
The final school of thought, "sorority," involves excessive dancing during rallies, four-to-five minute celebrations post-sink and an average game length of 73 minutes. Kappa Delta Epsilon does have 35 tables, though. Respect.
All methods: serve, save or sorority, can result in holding table, but as Russell Crowe said in Gladiator, "What we do in life echoes in eternity." Greek (Life) Translation: If you sink cups, nothing else matters.
The Legends would like to thank Pactiv Cups, 3-Star pong balls, Jack Stinson, LaValley Building Supply and Dartmouth College for the creation of a game that can be appreciated and played by all. Pong is Dartmouth.
Make sure to play plenty of pong this Green Key Weekend (or don't, the lines are long enough over big weekends).
Until next week, remember: crabcakes and pong, that's what Dartmouth does.
