Dear Cherie,
You've only entered high school this year, so throughout my four years at Dartmouth, you've always been a bit too young for me to be 100 percent honest with you about College with a capital C. But I know you're already dreaming of attending Dartmouth and I believe you're more clever, more intuitive and much wiser than your 14 years indicate, so I'm going to take this opportunity to write you honestly about my own experience, specifically my pre-graduation thoughts.
I wanted to first clearly define for you what going to college is like, but it's difficult to characterize Dartmouth as a whole; the experience is so dynamic, and Dartmouth is rife with idiosyncrasies, both positive and negative. There have been countless times when my friends and I have wondered aloud, "is XYZ phenomenon selective to our college or college life or is this how things work in the real world?" I've determined that many things are just at Dartmouth, not just "college life," but I'll have to get back to you about applying Dartmouth Logic to the real world. Luckily for you, you won't have to wait too long for that insight.
One thing I can tell you is that uncertainty is a sure thing throughout college, even during and maybe especially during senior Spring, when we supposedly have years of experience and wisdom to call on in times of uncertainty. Still, we seniors have passed this last term wondering: Should we try to exist in the same way we've lived the past four years and pass time as if nothing is changing (when in the past few weeks, it's felt like everything is changing at lightning pace), or do we live our days frenetically as if we're headed towards the edge of a waterfall, to be dumped unceremoniously into a wild frothing basin?
Oh, and denial is a real thing, too: Even though my friends from home have already graduated, I still cast my own graduation in my mind as just sometime in the future. This is one time when I'm grateful for our later term schedule and the chance to eke out a few more weeks and artificially extend our time as college students. There's a sexiness or at least a joie de vivre in holding that label that I'm going to miss. You have that to look forward to.
The thing about growing up is that usually you don't realize you're doing it until it's done. I think this is especially true at Dartmouth, where we experience this wonderful lightness of being while existing in the suspension between Real and Unreal. Geographically, we're at that corner on the map called New Hampshire, but really it doesn't matter we could be anywhere and it'd be nearly the same.
I must be growing at an exponential rate at Dartmouth, because each year and recently, it's been each term I realize how naive I was the year before or the term before. Having experienced four years of life at Dartmouth, I'd like to share my hopes, as a nearly-graduated older sister, for my soon-to-be-undergraduate younger sister:
I want you to be ambitious, bold and confident. Believe in yourself and your abilities and if you don't yet, listen to people who do. Be self-aware. Don't be too hard on yourself. Strive for and take what you think you deserve. (As Lil Jon says "Grab that shit, it's yours, bitch.") Be friendly to everyone, but be selective about who you give your entire self to. Friendships and relationships fade in and out and back in again, but you'll always be in a relationship with yourself, so treat yourself well. (This is getting a bit too Sex-and-the-City for my liking.) Stay true to your beliefs, but know that they may change over four years. Stay healthy. Go abroad for a term (It's one of the best things I've done at college). Better yet, do it as a transfer term and get four credits taking pass/fail classes. Don't screw yourself up with drugs. Ignore the haters (people who don't support you and/or drag you down instead of enrich your life in any way) and listen to Chamillionaire's "Good Morning" when they make you feel bad. Ask for help if and when you need it. Aim to be happy, but know that you yourself may not know exactly what will make you happy. And know that happiness is a relative state of being. Be proud of yourself your accomplishments, your relationships and your contributions. Finally, be grateful for what you have, and always expect more.
In the grand scheme of things, I know that you're faithful and want to do good in the world and maybe even become a doctor; I can say with confidence that Dartmouth will better enable you to reach your goals. I think our college has very much imbued my classmates and me with an urgency to change the world for the better. After four years here, it somehow feels inevitable, and even natural. Perhaps even more incredible is that we actually feel capable of carrying out our mission. I hope that by the time you enter the real world, my classmates and I are well on our way to materially improving it.
People will tell you there's no experience like college, but I think even more so there's no experience like Dartmouth. I've loved it here. We seniors are starting to realize that while it will always be our College on the Hill, it will never be our contemporaneous Dartmouth again. For now, the fiduciaries are the '14s, '13s, '12s and '11s and maybe you too one day, if you're so lucky. I would hope you'd continue to take good care of our college and love her as we all have.
Much love. See you soon!
Your sister,
Jean
