It is shockingly difficult to get people at Dartmouth to talk about w33d. Which is weird. There are so many reasons that it should be easier to find a student to interview about "the legitimate side of smoking," such as:-We go to school in New Hampshire a two hour drive from Burlington. And last I checked, Burlington is like the stoner capital of New England, or something like that. Considering we blame all our alcohol problems on having "nothing else to do," I'm shocked more people don't step up to the plate to explain that sometimes smoking is another option.-The only Ivy that should smoke more than we do is Brown. And Brown beat my club lacrosse team last weekend, so I'm pretty sure their lungs are in good shape meaning that the only Ivy that should smoke more than we do is Bowdoin ("the Harvard of Maine"). And since Ivy leaguers are competitive and excel at everything, we should embrace our stereotype and be the best at smoking.-The high school students that I taught this summer estimated that 80 to 90 percent of Dartmouth students smoke. When my jaw dropped at this assertion they each managed to retell some (incredibly fabricated) story of a friend who visited the campus and managed to walk up to a fraternity door and ask for and receive an eighth (if that's even what weed is measured in).-I'm in [insert name of commonly accepted "stoner house" here].-I offered to buy beer and play pong afterwards with anyone who agreed to interview with me. In retrospect, maybe I should have offered to "share a J" or "pass a bowl" with anybody who agreed, but my meager confidence in my interviewing skills wanes when they become high interviewing skills. (Potential interview notes: "Says name is [insert Name of Pothead '10 here] hahaha lolz catz omg hahaha lolzzzing.")
And yet, I could not find a subject. I got a few adorable responses informing me that people had "no idea" what I was talking about and were "not involved" in the projects to which I referred. Apparently, Matthew Ritger (you call me out, I call you out) is the only Dartmouth student willing to publish stories about his illegal escapades. (How's the job hunt working out for you, Matt? Oh wait I'm in no place to be calling people out for that.)
This honestly disappoints me. I expected more of you, Dartmouth. I expected you to step up to the plate and confirm my fears that I am, in fact, the only person on this campus who is not counting down the days/hours/minutes until 4:20 on 4/20. Or more, I wanted you to show me that there do exist people on this campus who do not have goals of landing a job in finance/consulting/government/Teachfor America and would, therefore, be open to talk about illicit substances and engineering projects they've pursued inspired by a specific illicit substance.
But alas, Dartmouth fails me. And all I got to learn from researching for this article is first that I'm really really bad at pong (but will probably be putting together Senior Girl Ma$ters look for a blitz from me this weekend!) and second that I should not be smoking at 4/20.
