Office hours can be intimidating. Especially to a young, inexperienced freshman still new to navigating the academic waters at Dartmouth. But take heart, you're not alone. The waters are just as murky even when you're an experienced junior, who is still just as utterly clueless about what it is she wants to do with her life.
Fortunately for us, I've gone to enough office hours, and made a fool of myself enough times, to know the ins and outs of talking to a professor by now. You can thank me when you get that A in Astro. Feel free to try and transfer your credit to my transcript, my GPA thanks you in advance.
So, when talking to a Professor First, "Get Your Head in the Game"
Which means, like the East High Wild Cats, you need to have a game plan, where Troy (aka you) actually scores a bucket during the course of conversation. Do not go into office hours without first having considered what it is you are going to say. Do you think Troy breaks down into his dance moves without rehearsing first? The answer is no. And neither should you.
For office hours with a professor to actually be rewarding, it requires a certain amount of preparation on your part. I am not kidding. Come in armed with a relevant question pertaining to the course. Or a question regarding the type of research your professor does, because you share similar academic interests, blah, blah. Come in with a story about yourself and why you are interested in the class. Do ANYTHING except going in unprepared, just wanting "to get to know your professor better." Because inevitably, you will ramble like an idiot for 30+ minutes in the end, talking about your five cats back at home and how dreary the Hanover weather is, ultimately regretting your decision to come in the first place.
Second, "Elocution is in the Execution"
THINK before you speak. Take the time to articulate what it is you are going to say, instead of trying to unpack it all in the first five minutes of conversation because you are after all, a Dartmouth student with a million and one things to do. Like where's your gold star for taking time out of your busy day to care, right?
WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Professors are usually not impressed that you were able to write their 10 page paper in a matter of 10 caffeine/adderall influenced hours. Typically, they interpret that kind of effort as "half-ass," and that you aren't putting the amount of effort in their class that you could be.
So remain calm and elegant in your conversation, acting as if you have all the time in the world to be in office hours right now, and no, you couldn't imagine a more fascinating activity for your spare time. This will impress them and keep them in suspense of how long you actually did take to write that paper.
Third, "Silence Is a Virtue"
There will be awkward pauses in conversation. This is to be expected when we hold conversations with those who are at least 20+ years our senior, and are not our Mom and Dad. Do not feel the need to fill the silence with your chatter. Instead try nodding knowingly, like you too, just had an "Aha!" moment and need a pregnant pause upon which to reflect. Make eye contact. This isn't confession with a priest you came in voluntarily, remember?
And Fourth (And Most Importantly) "Remember to Stay in Touch"
No seriously, stay in touch. And drop by every once in a "littttle whilllle!" There are two simple reasons as to why you should do this:
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If chances are that you are going to get a bad grade in the class (i.e. me in Bio 11), make them at least associate a face with that test score by Jove! Refuse to be just another statistic at the hands of a cruel, sexually frustrated TA. In all seriousness though, if you continue to come in to office hours, despite continuing to do poorly in a class, it shows a professor you actually do care, and that the material is just difficult for you. And not that you were too drunk to hold your pencil for the length of the examination.
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If the tables are turned and it seems as if you are going to pass a class with flying colors, this might be a professor at Dartmout with whom you want to establish a lasting relationship. So say, "Hi!" when you see them walking the streets of Hanover, send blitz updates from your off-terms ever so often (spelled and punctuated correctly, please) and just check in from time to time. Professors at Dartmouth teach because they like students. So if you like a professor, simple let them know. It'll make their day, and might end up making your "Dartmouth Experience" in the long run.
Class dismissed.
