When I told a friend the theme of this week's Mirror, her immediate response was that I should write about morning after blitz etiquette. Time and time again we attempt to create rules for our social lives regarding blitzing, relationships, pong, etc., but now its time focus in on what brought us all here in the first place academics. Who am I kidding? Maybe you were sold by the crazies at the Dimensions show, maybe you were recruited for a varsity sport, or most likely, you just didn't get into Harvard/Yale/Princeton (coming from the South, I still don't get most of these Ivy bashing jokes). Regardless of your motives, you would think that by now we'd all know appropriate academic etiquette, both in the library and the classroom, but a quick stroll through Baker-Berry shows this is clearly not the case. Since I am no longer taking classes and thus rarely in the library, I don't really care if you follow these rules. But, for the sake of the 3,000+ students who are not graduating in 44 days, please attempt to follow them, or at least realize that what you're doing is really annoying and socially unacceptable and that everyone hates you for doing it.
IN THE LIBRARY:1. Get off of your cell phone. Head to Novack, step outside, text message instead or awkwardly whisper for no more than 30 seconds in the corner. The only remotely acceptable place to have a longer conversation is on the first floor Berry runway, or the bathroom I guess, but that's just awkward.2. Get off of Skype. On more than one occasion I have seen and heard students video-chatting in the stacks. The same rules for cell phones apply to video-chatting. Even though you hear voices in your headphones, this does not mean that your voice is magically channeled to your mom three time zones away without a sound. 3. Turn down your headphones. Just because you can't hear anyone else doesn't mean that they can't hear your music overflowing from your headphones. While noise-cancelling head phones make you look super cool and actually do a good job at silencing the chatters, it's easy to forget how loud your music may sound to others. If you have noise-cancelling headphones, try taking them off of your head and see how loud they really are. Adjust as necessary.4. Stop crunching. Avoid Cheetos, Fritos and basically any chips available for purchase in Novack. Besides loud crunching, the crinkly packaging is also quite annoying. I suggest you try a bagel, a sandwich or a freshly microwaved calzone instead. Actually, scratch the calzone, and generally try to avoid anything with a wafting scent that may disgust anyone within a 30-foot radius of your desk. 5. Sit at your table. There's nothing more annoying than searching every floor for a place to study and returning two hours later to see the same 3-person table covered in one person's books and papers, yet it's owner is nowhere to be found. There should be a 45-minute time limit on how long you can leave a table unattended. 6. Stop painting/cutting/doing anything to your nails. Apparently people do this. WTF. Gross. Stop now.
IN THE CLASSROOM:1. Shut up. There have been several more serious articles written about this, but no one seems to be getting the message. No one, including the professor, cares what you have to say in a 100-person lecture class with solely multiply choice exams. For large, non-seminar style classes, there should be a one question/comment/mindless ramble-per-person limit. Save the sucking up for after class and office hours. 2. If you come in late, quiet down. I am totally cool with tardiness considering that 08W I couldn't even make it to my 2 on time. (It was my first class of the day!) I'd like to think I have mastered the art of awkwardly walking into class late. But, what annoys me is when people come in late, let the door slam behind them, and then take a minute getting settled, shuffling around books and papers, loudly opening a can or anything wrapped in plastic, and generally drawing more attention to themselves. It's OK to be late, just don't make a production about it. 3. Turn you phone on silent or get a better ringtone. I'm generally conscious of my phone going off at the wrong time, which is why it tends to be on silent 95 percent of the time. Put your phone on silent during class and while you're in the library. If you can't seem to remember this, get a funny ringtone. If you're going to cause a distraction, at least get some laughs out of it when Lady Gaga's latest hit starts blasting.4.Stay on Facebook. Keep playing your game. Tilt your screen forward just a smidge. While most professors agree that it is bad etiquette to do anything but type notes on computers, I fully support mindless distractions so long as the person sitting behind you can be equally amused by what is on your screen, whether it be Facebook stalking the prospie you "met" last weekend or your high score on Winterbells and RUA.
