What authority do I have to tell you how to get ideas, you might ask? Aside from my foolproof inventions such as flavored buffered aspirin for injured pets (Hamerin) and the ever popular worm suit (want to cut back on unnecessary casket or cremation costs? Want to get into the ground ASAP before some sicko can dig you up? The worm suit is YOUR burial solution). I have none. But everyone has their favorite ways to get the ol' neurons firing and these are my methods:1. Walk somewhere with no electronics and in no particular hurry: Put down your blackberry and iPod and go somewhere for no reason. It will be scary at first. What if someone calls you? What if you think of a funny inside joke, but since you can't text it to your friend immediately, you forget it? What if someone sees you and you're not talking, texting or listening to music and they therefore assume that you have no friends and are a loser? It will be okay. If you can get over these initial hurdles, you might find inspiration in the environment directly surrounding you. You may even come up with original thoughts that are far more interesting than making an on-the-go mix or pretending to text. 2. Go to temple/church/meditation/Quaker meeting/any religious service: I never thought I'd be pushing organized religion, but indeed, I always find religious services very thought provoking. Or if pondering your place in the universe doesn't do it for you, you can always just ask the Big Man/Woman/Life Force upstairs for some inspiration while you're there. Alternatively, making a deal with the Devil also seems to yield results, albeit mixed. (See blues musician Tommy Johnson, Faust and Peter Griffin.) 3. Read The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot and let your mind wander while you do it. Yes, I know you've already read it in AP English in 11th grade, and you probably wrote a really smarmy A+ essay on it too. Try to put that behind you. Forget analysis, there's a reason why this became an extremely famous poem and it may have something to do with its phenomenal imagery that can take you off into another place if you let it. Is it the sunniest piece ever written? No. But if you want to join the ranks of the big thinkers out there, you have to ready yourself for a life of depression anyway. 4. Talk to a child: there are appropriate and inappropriate ways of going about this, which I won't go into. All I can say is that I babysit a three-year old and today she said to me "if you're going down the wrong road, turn around and go down the right one. And if you're going down the right road, keep going." This is the best advice I've gotten since the 5th grade when Mrs. Clukey told me I could use the acronym PEMDAS to remember the order of operations. Kids are full of all sorts of unspoiled thoughts that they're ready to impart on you free of charge if you're there to listen.
If I want to get some interesting activity in the bean, these are the kinds of places I turn. That said, if World of Warcraft and iPod apps are what do it for you, then keep on keepin' on. If the end product is of worm suit caliber, the methods are sufficiently justified in my book.
