Dartmouth is not where relationships go to die. (Clarification: UChicago is still where fun goes to die.) Well, kind of. Students struggle to preserve their high school relationships on college campuses across the nation, but contrary to popular belief, on-campus relationships can and do flourish at Dartmouth. (Full disclosure: I am in a relationship on Facebook with my sister. Actually, she declined my request, so I settled for a real relationship instead.)
Regardless of what you were told freshman Fall or how heartbroken and jaded you became after realizing that the hottie you spotted on the Chi Gam pole will not, in fact, be your future wife long-term relationships thrive on this campus. Never seen such a sight in Hanover? Then scour those dusty spectacles and take another look.
"I keep hearing that sort of thing, that Dartmouth ruins relationships, but I don't actually see it," said Justin Lerman '10. "I know a lot of people in relationships."
Lerman has been in a relationship with Ali Rope '10 for almost a year and a half.
Not everyone in a relationship at Dartmouth, however, agrees. Sarah Kler '12, who has been in a relationship for over a year, admitted that she is one of the few people in a relationship that she knows at Dartmouth.
"I think that on any campus where there is a popular hook-up culture, dating isn't going to be something considered normal," explained Kler. "I don't, however, think that it's an issue exclusive to this campus."
Apparently, the profusion of damp pong paddles and brightly colored spandex on campus does not a relationship make. The students interviewed, however, overwhelmingly agreed that a Dartmouth relationship should be no more difficult to sustain than at another college.
"I don't think it's necessarily harder [to maintain a relationship] at Dartmouth," said Meera Krishna '11, who has dated David Peterson '10 for almost two years.
"At other schools, students go abroad for a full semester, for even longer than a quarter. If you went off-campus for a semester, you'd be apart for an even longer [time] than at Dartmouth," Krishna explained.
Most also admitted that the campus' hook-up culture does pose a challenge to initiating a relationship a relationship not determined by the wait for a pong game, that is.
"Obviously the hook-up culture at Dartmouth makes it more difficult to start a relationship, I would say, because there is no incentive to enter into a relationship if you can just hook up without any long-term commitments or obligations," Rope said.
Many suggested that such a hook-up culture is encouraged by Greek life's pervasiveness on campus.
"There is definitely a hook-up culture, a single's culture, with tails events," Krishna said. "It makes sense to be in the Greek scene and to not be in a serious relationship."
So I have to choose between Southern Comfort and my sorority sunglasses or Southern Comfort and my boyfriend?! Sorry, Nate. If you haven't noticed, it's, like, really sunny here.
"When I've been single at Dartmouth, I remember thinking that going out was more fun," Lerman commented.
Checkmate.
No one interviewed, however, felt he or she had sacrificed the typical "Dartmouth experience" to preserve his or her relationship.
"The things I have missed out on [at Dartmouth] haven't been parties," Lerman said. "Maybe I would have hooked up with more people, but that's not appealing to me. I personally never liked the hook-up scene at Dartmouth."
Lerman explained that his "goals" in relation to the Greek scene differ from those of his friends.
"I think that being in a relationship has affected the way I approach my social life," Lerman explained. "A lot of my friends go out with the intention of hooking up with someone. My intention is to have fun with my friends."
While dating might take the presure off of partying it doesn't mean that relationships themselves revolve around Webster Avenue.
Despite our collective love affair with kegs, crowds and communicable diseases, relationships are not fully dependent on the Greek scene.
"When I think about my friends who are in relationships, they aren't dating someone they met in basements," Lerman said. "Usually it was someone they met doing something meaningful."
If dear ol' Dartmouth really is the graveyard of failed relationships, then even the country's best and brightest succumb to the peer pressure to party instead of making real connections. Imagine that.
"No matter what, it's hard to have a relationship in college," Peterson said. "Everyone is exploring different aspects of life, and it's hard to maintain something constant with another person when you're changing all the time."
