This, Sir, Is My Case!

Rembert's Valedictorian Speech, June 14, 2009

[Rembert REMEMBER YOUR MANTRA:

1. You are a golden god

2. You are a golden god

3. You are a golden god][Stand up straight. Don't forget to look up. And before you say something funny, look at your mother.]

John the Baptist once said "Vox Clamantis in Deserto."

So did Eleazar Wheelock.

Daniel Webster once closed a speech with "Et tu quoque, mi fili."

We appreciate it. We really do.

John Ledyard once called himself "a phenomenon."

That guy probably had NO friends.

Nelson Rockerfeller once told Ernest Martin Hopkins, "I came to Dartmouth because of you."

I threw rock when I should have thrown scissors. Oh Colby-Sawyer, what could have been...

John Sloan Dickey once said, There is no more vulnerable human combination than an undergraduate"

I see that statement, and raise him: "There is no more vulnerable human combination than an undergraduate senior Black male from Atlanta, Georgia at the Rockapellas senior show."

James Wright never actually said that he'd "end the Greek system as we know it."

Oh The D, you silly kids with your selective hearing.

Jim Kim thinks he can help "take Dartmouth to a higher place."

He better, or Susan, Jim, and I are gonna Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego on you (I don't really know what that means, but I've always thought of them as my Biblical Three Ninjas)

Because of Dartmouth's harsh SEMP policies in the 1920s, Theodore Geisel became "Dr. Seuss."

Hey Officer Willie, check your Blitz. It's a list of everything bad I've done and plan on doing. I need this.

Susan Wright once referred to me as "Rempert" in a blitz

I honestly considered changing my name, it sounded so beautiful. And it was over Blitz.

Officer David Hunt told me last year, "I've never had a basket, tassels and horn on my bike."

I didn't believe you then, and I don't believe you now. I'm still awake, you know, during your 5 a.m. Tuesday morning shift...

And finally, a man in Collis once said, in reference to sausage breakfast sandwiches, "Why get one, when you could get two."

Ray, you got me every time.

That's all I got, Dartmouth. I'm spent. Thanks for listening.

I love you, mom.

[Wave to the fam, fist pump to the crowd and then do the worm on stage. Then get up, look at your family, apologize to them, then go sit down.]