Green Key is coming, and I am all "keyed up" for it -- which means I'm in "a state of great excitement" (thank you, thesaurus, for that clever pun). Every person I have asked about Green Key maintains that it is his or her favorite weekend, and though I have never attended, I already understand. Homecoming and Winter Carnival are rife with tradition, but I got ash in my eye running around the Homecoming fire, and the snow sculpture collapsed at my first Winter Carnival. Green Key, however, is free from pesky traditions that can go wrong faster than a Three 6 Mafia ticket sale. A quick perusal of Google reveals that Green Key was once marked by many traditions, but, sadly, they have all been outlawed. Students used to sleep with their dates on the golf course during the "Outdoor Sleep," but when 69 (irony?) students were arrested in 1965, this time-honored tradition was put to rest. The '60s also saw the death of the "Wetdown," a tradition in which newly-elected members of student government were pelted with food and water as they ran through a gauntlet spread across the Green. The Wetdown was soon replaced by the Chariot Race, a competition among fraternities similar to Winter Carnival's human dogsled race. Due to the competitiveness of the event and the prevalence of fights among participants, the Chariot Race was killed in 1984, ending the last remaining Green Key tradition. Green Key today is basically a weekend with a few extra parties, but don't listen to anyone who tells you it's pointless. Partying is never pointless -- the point is to release your inhibitions (feel the rain on your skin...), have a good time, meet new people and/or drown your sorrows, whatever you're into.
I imagine Green Key to be like a J. Crew spring catalog -- girls in flowing sundresses and headbands with hair that looks perfect, and guys in pastel shorts with tucked-in Oxford button-downs and flip-flops all looking thoughtfully off into the distance. I am excited; the Green will be green, the weather will hopefully be perfect, and I might even get a tan. The most obvious reason to me that Green Key is the best weekend, though, is the T-shirt. I still see people sporting the blue "Green Key 2008" tee with the Keystone logo around campus; even a few of my fellow 12s wear it. You rarely see anyone wearing a Homecoming or Winter Carnival T-shirt, except when doing something potentially shirt-ruining like painting or sweating a lot -- I personally only wear mine as a sleeping shirt or when I haven't showered and don't want to wear a shirt I like. The coolness of the shirt actually directly corresponds to the fun of the weekend, at least for me. The Homecoming shirt was an awful green color that does not look good with anything I own. Accordingly, Homecoming was all right, but it was nothing to brag to my friends from high school about, and the shirt did not say "Dartmouth" or "Homecoming" anywhere on it. The Winter Carnival shirt was a different garish green color that does not match with anything at all, but the design was acceptable and it came in a versatile long-sleeve version. Likewise, Winter Carnival was fun and versatile -- there were a couple good concerts and parties, and I enjoyed myself. I have high hopes for this year's Green Key shirt, just as I have high hopes for this year's Green Key.
As a freshman male, however, I also view big weekends with mixed emotions. As I am not affiliated with a Greek house, big weekends may mean huge parties, but they also mean it will be nearly impossible to get on table. The way I feel about this is the same way my female classmates feel about the sketchy alumni who hit on them during the big weekends -- unfortunate but unavoidable. Because of the dearth of traditions, Green Key has evolved into a pretty Greek-centered weekend, and I am looking forward to barbecues and pig roasts where I can stand around awkwardly with my friends. The AD lawn party and TDX pig roast should do well for that, and I've heard good things about Phi Delt's block party. Green Key is held at a perfect time, right after midterms and far enough away from finals that you don't feel guilty nursing a week-long hangover.
As a '12, I recognize that traditions make up a large part of the Dartmouth experience. Although the now-defunct traditions of Green Key may be just a memory, Green Key itself is a beloved tradition, and that should be more than enough reason to celebrate.
