Last fall, my brother visited me at Dartmouth, and I still remember him following me into a dingy frat basement. I introduced him to my friends as we stood around the pong tables and laughed at our surroundings.
"So, this is where I hang out," I said, hoping to sound proud and simultaneously revolted by the subhuman setting. But my brother just smiled and said, "This place seems like a ton of fun."
I've always wondered what it's like to share Dartmouth, or any school, with a sibling. My brother has always been four grades ahead of me and we always went to different schools. For those whose siblings attend Dartmouth, I've wondered if they ever have some sort of awkward social encounter, say on a Saturday night, or if they ever felt competitive taking the same classes. And for students who are legacies, I've always pondered, how does it feel to live in the same dorm room as their parents once did?
Many of the students in these positions that I spoke to played down the fact that they were in "Dartmouth families." For most of them, having alumni parents or siblings hasn't factored greatly into their experiences at the College -- other than an early exposure to Dartmouth.
Still, balancing academic, social and extracurricular independence with strong family ties can be difficult: how do you craft a unique identity when other members of your family have attended Dartmouth?
Steph Takeuchi '12 said she was happy to have her brother, Chris Takeuchi '09, on campus to help her adjust to Dartmouth during her freshman fall. Steph had been exposed to Dartmouth before choosing to go to the school, but said that wasn't why she decided to attend.
"Before I visited here, I didn't want to apply," she said. "But I came here when I was visiting schools over spring break, and we decided to visit [my brother] here -- and of course I fell in love."
Now, Steph sees her brother a few times a week, just to check in. Chris said that he hasn't been too protective of his sister.
"She's independent, so I just leave her alone," he said, looking her in the eye during our interview.
He jokingly added, "You don't use the car enough. You need to let me know if you need anything. You don't take advantage of me enough. You should definitely take advantage of having a brother more."
Katie Silberman '09 and Chris Silberman '11 said that they haven't needed to worry about spending enough time together at the College. The pair hasn't spent much time worrying about crafting their own "Dartmouth experiences," they said, even though both their parents and members of their extended family attended Dartmouth.
Katie and Chris both said that being legacies and siblings hasn't affected their college experiences much, except for allowing them to see each other more often, and grow closer.
"We didn't go to the same high school," Katie said. "So it's fun to see him everyday here."
"I'm not sick of her yet!" Chris added.
Both said that they were not pressured to attend Dartmouth by their parents.
"I didn't grow up knowing I wanted to go to Dartmouth," Katie said. "But it was always there."
For Chris, the pressure that existed in choosing to attend the College came from his best friends, who had chosen to attend Dartmouth, and Katie from herself, he said.
"Most of the pressure was coming from my sister!" Chris said.
Chris said that having a sibling on campus provided him some guidance. When he arrived at Dartmouth, he said, he had a "foundation" because of his sister.
"I already had a group of people who knew me as 'Katie's younger bro,'" he said. "She lived in [Kappa Delta Epsilon sorority] my freshman fall, so I always made an excuse to go see her."
Since then, the Silbermans said that they have had overlapping experiences on campus, and have been able to give each other perspective on what it's like to be involved with Greek life, or even about how they explore their separate academic or extracurricular interests.
For some siblings, however, academic and campus interests sometimes coincide.
During her freshman spring, Katie Sweeting '10 wound up in a government course with her older brother, Frits Sweeting '07, who was finishing up one of his last distributive requirements. Katie recalled seeing her brother walk into the room and being surprised he was in the same class as her.
Katie said she had forgotten a pencil and paper on the first day, so her brother gave her both items and said, jokingly, "Oh, you're so irresponsible."
Katie did admit that throughout the term she was nervous about her grades and how they would compare to her brother's.
"He was the government major, so he should be getting better grades!" she said.
Katie's grades ended up working out fine, she said. A more important factor stemming from the coinciding class was the influence her brother had on her discipline, she said.
"It was hard when I'd procrastinate and he wouldn't," she said. "He'd kid around about me procrastinating."
Clearly, older siblings can be a positive influence on younger ones by virtue of their greater experience at the College. Many students said it isn't that much different than having an older friend at school with you, save for the occasional weekend frat run-in.
"He holds me on a pedestal," Katie said. "But he knows I go out on weekends -- he just acts like he doesn't [know]."
From my conversations with Dartmouth siblings, it appears that many of these pairs lead separate lives, bumping into each other on occasion and setting up periodic meals. While siblings like the Silbermans find it easy to share their Dartmouth experience, not every set of siblings even crosses paths frequently.
Hannah Dreissigacker '09 and Emily Dreissigacker '11 are active in completely separate activities on campus, and the two rarely see each other due to their rigorous athletic schedules, they said. Hannah is on the Nordic ski team and Emily is on the rowing team.
When one sister is in season, the other is off, making it hard to coordinate schedules or even frequent the same places on campus, they said.
"Emily asks me about classes [and] if I recommend anything, and we try to get lunch or dinner together every now and then," Hannah said.
For the Dreissigackers, their separate experiences are more influenced by their mother, Judy Geer, who transferred into the Class of 1976, one of the first coeducational graduating class at Dartmouth.
Hannah said she had always envisioned herself going to Dartmouth, though she said she questioned that decision just as she was entering the college admissions process.
"I almost didn't want to go do the boring thing my whole family did in going to Dartmouth. To me, it felt like I was taking the obvious step," Hannah said.
Upon visiting, however, Hannah realized that Dartmouth was the place for her. Now, four years later, Hannah said she sometimes questions her decision and the future that lies ahead.
"I definitely don't want to just be doing the obvious next step in what my parents did," she said. "So I'm definitely trying to figure out that balance. Is it my life, totally? I feel like I'm making my own decisions, but sometimes I wonder if I would've chosen Dartmouth had it not been for my parents -- though I do love Dartmouth for its good ski team and engineering program."
In the end, other factors besides their family's connection to the campus influenced both sisters' decisions to attend the College -- namely the academic programs and highly competitive athletic teams.
Nevertheless, Emily sometimes sees herself influenced by her mother's success. As Geer is a prominent member of the Dartmouth Rowing Club, serving as the first women's rowing captain and as a member of three Olympic teams, it is understandable that Emily has her goals set high.
"I think my mom was a lot more intense than me in college," Emily said. "The school has also changed so much -- I'm in a sorority, but she doesn't really believe in that and is somewhat confused about why I wanted to do it."
The differing perspectives on campus life between mother and daughter seems to demonstrate that, no matter how long the lineage of a Dartmouth family, each individual's experience is just that -- individual.
This is particularly true for Tyler Brace '11, who is one of many in his family to attend Dartmouth. His father, Rob, is member of the Class of 1979, his grandfather, Bob, is a '52, and his great grandfather, Lloyd, is a '25. Tyler also has many cousins who have attended the College. Despite his numerous familial and historical ties to Dartmouth -- including the fact that his great grandfather is responsible for Brace Commons in East Wheelock Residential Cluster -- Tyler said he has managed to craft a personal, independent experience without pressures from his family.
"There's no need to make any sort of extra effort to differentiate myself from what my family's done," he said. "In terms of defining my experience, I do what feels right."
Like his father and grandfather, Tyler has joined a Greek house and has been a member of a sports team. He said that he thinks it's fine that his decisions will overlap with those of his family.
"There are some similarities, undoubtedly -- but we're a family," he said.
The aspect about having close family ties to the College Tyler said he most appreciates is the continuity he is able to experience from generation to generation. Tyler has found himself making friends with the sons of other Dartmouth alumni, which he said he finds interesting.
Tyler admitted to having some entertaining conversations with his family about Dartmouth traditions that no longer exist.
Tyler said that he once was talking to his grandfather over the phone about Winter Carnival when his grandfather asked, "Who's your date?"
Tyler said he remembers laughing and reminding his grandfather that "ever since Dartmouth went coed, that hasn't been an issue."
Before coeducation, it was common practice for Dartmouth men to invite women from nearby colleges for the weekend, Tyler said.
"[Winter Carnival] was much more formal," he said. "It's funny to hear perspectives that seem so outdated now -- so many social aspects of Dartmouth have changed. One of the first things my grandpa said after I pledged [a fraternity] was, 'Oh, have you met the paddle yet?' To which I replied, 'No -- frats nowadays don't condone hazing of any form.'"
Part of what makes it special to have family members attend the same college, many students said, is that you can compare parallel, but distinct, experiences. Whether a student is a legacy or has a sibling on campus, there is likely some overlap that brings the family closer together. Dartmouth families certainly give the phrase "to bleed green" a whole new meaning.
