Not that my Winter term, Collis pasta ass will be sitting on the Green anytime soon thanks to this nasty bout of weather (which in all honesty is probably a blessing in disguise, because I can now hit the gym and kiss my muffin top goodbye), but as soon as the artificial grass sprayers appear, expect to see me there camped out with books, reading up a storm and soaking up some Vitamin D-fortified rays.
Now I know some of you might be questioning my work ethic: "Oh sure, like you're gonna actually read, Frosty. More like you'll be people-reading."
Well, guess what gang? You can take your "Oh Snap!" and shove it, 'cause I've got four classes this term and spending my time in the stacks reading isn't all that appealing, nor is being an even pastier shade of white than I already am. I am ready to burn -- and to burn through some readings as well. Yeah, try that "Oh Snap!" on for size -- how you like 'dem apples?
Getting work done on the Green is not only possible, it's down right pleasurable. And honestly, when was the last time you could say reading obscure, and probably irrelevant, academic articles written by bespectacled Ph. D.s was enjoyable?
Before you go and dismiss the Green as a facetime fest full of distractions and Frisbee-throwing fools, keep in mind that First Floor Berry ain't no picnic either. Distractions and study spaces go hand in hand. So go ahead and take a break and look at the cute puppy and its shirtless owner -- it's allowed. And if you're worried that you are so popular that everyone aimlessly wandering across the Green will be tempted to stop by and pester you, there is a simple solution: sunglasses. They make you as incognito as that puffy down parka you rocked last term -- only a lot more mysterious and vogue. And they cut down on the glare when the sun gets too intense. Hell, if you go all out on a pair, people will be too intimidated to even approach you as you get your study on.
The greatest perk of working on the Green, besides the added ambiance of the outdoors gracing your study sessions, might be its central location: close to office hours and food. Good food, too, none of that Novack desperation study food for you! Furthermore, because the Green is not divided into awkward little cubicle study spaces, you don't have to worry about intruding on someone else's space, or being annoyed by the way they smack their gum non-stop. And best yet, say goodbye to gritting your teeth as you covetously eye that primetime library study spot that appears to be always abandoned, yet consistently restocked with half-filled coffee cups and messy, highlighted papers strewn everywhere. The Green is No Man's Land -- it's ours for the taking, studying, and sunbathing!
We all have to read, so we might as well enjoy ourselves while doing it. Save your problem sets for when you venture back indoors, though. Loose-leaf paper flies like no other. But problem sets aside, come work outside with me and reap the benefits of the old adage: sound body, sound mind, and leave the grime of the library behind!
