As the stock market is woefully unhip and insists on clinging to last year's trend of spiraling downward (so 2008, seriously), the College's financial expenditures continue to face intense scrutiny. Insert snide comment regarding the flat-screen TV in Food Court here.
"Sustainability" is definitely a viable candidate for buzzword of the decade, but is our continued investment into "green" initiatives really worth the money? There are layers upon layers of "Dartmouth Conserves" stickers on my dorm room light switch -- which remains merrily in the up position -- and while the new energy monitoring terminals in New Hampshire residence hall are nice and shiny, they also look expensive.
Are sustainability initiatives a total waste of our precious tuition dollars? As much as I am usually cynical, in this case, I think that our "green" efforts are actually not a total wash -- if they are properly directed. Some of the current initiatives put a bit too much faith in the average Dartmouth student. Newsflash: Dartmouth students are awkward geeks, even if they try to dress up in cool-people clothing. (Note to prospective '13s reading this: Dartmouth is full of sweet dudes. ANIMAL HOUSE! Harvard sucks.)
According to the Disney Channel original movies that instilled in me some valuable stereotypes, geeks are oblivious, lost in a world of pocket protectors and intellectual contemplation. Ergo, sustainability efforts need to be carefully targeted to break into our collective unawareness.
Consider the new composting program in the Hop, for example. While maybe the third time is the charm for a compost at Dartmouth, I think it took me three or four Billy Bobs before I even realized that there was a new way to throw out one's garbage. A politely-labeled trash can is not going to make an impression on someone frantically replying to her sorority blitz list on her BlackBerry.
Painting the compost can red is a step in the right direction. Hiring Terry Tate to body-slam people who mix plastic and cardboard is better. The same principal, sticking conservation efforts in front of our faces, can be applied to encouraging students to recycle. Reward-based contests promoting recycling may seem logical on the surface -- nothing says motivation like free pizza, right? Wrong.
First, it will be EBAs pizza. Second, this requires not only that we actually take some initiative and take the extra three seconds to toss our non-sustainable gigantic Dasani in the right bin, but also that we are even aware that such a contest is going on. Unlikely. Plunk the blue bins in the dorm rooms -- people may actually use them because it will prolong the length of time before they have to take out their garbage, but don't tuck the big recycling bins in some forgotten room -- people will totally dump their recycling in the trash if it's closer.
The renovation in New Hamp was a step in the right direction: the trash room and the recycling room are across from each other, so there is no laziness advantage to trashing those Keystone cans instead of putting them with their other aluminum and plastic friends.
You can also exploit people's obliviousness and general laziness for sustainability purposes. Want fewer to-go containers used? Don't make them available -- I will put my salad in a bowl if it's all that's there. Want people to turn out the lights? Give them a timer, not a switch. It's not harsh -- it's for the planet.
In short, sustainability efforts can totally be worth the time and money. It may force us to admit some ugly truths -- Dartmouth students exist in the sad haze of obliviousness that is the sum of our crippling social awkwardness and hangovers -- but our sad self-realization could save the planet, so I back it.
