I know this isn't necessarily the topic of The Mirror this week, but I was stunned and a wee bit upset to return to campus on Wednesday from The District of Columbia and not see an article in The Dartmouth, America's Oldest College Newspaper -- Founded 1799, that had a student reporter doing more than simply describing the basics of the inauguration festivities. I wanted to read some crazy interviews that a Dartmouth student got with people who had traveled 9,000 miles across the Pacific by foot or a Dartmouth photographer who had somehow snuck through the security perimeter to get a picture of Sasha and Malia as they were escorted home. Sadly, none of these dreams were fulfilled.
Then something hit me. I went to D.C. and came back with absolutely no substantive news and information. I mean, I didn't even get an invitation to the "Neighborhood Ball." But what I did do was interact with people. With that said, I decided to report on what I saw and describe what actually happened at inauguration. Narrowing all the things I saw down to a few major highlights was tough, but I think these were the four most important aspects of the weekend:
- Black women in fur coats.
I want to say I saw over 1,000 black women in fur coats, but what I can say is that I saw zero non-black women in fur coats, I saw over 1,000 black women, and it was cold. I don't really have a strong stance for or against the brutal mutilation of animals in order to keep beautiful black women warm, but every time I saw a black woman (usually one over 50) "stepping out" in her fur, as they say, a big smile came over my face and I immediately missed all the women in my family who, had they been in D.C., would have been wearing their furs too.
- Obama Vendors, i.e. Hustlers
I love a good hustler. According to Beyonc, "A diva is a female version of a hustler." That's not important, though. What's important is that, while I was in D.C., I saw more bootleg, copyright-infringing clothes and accessories with Obama's name and face on them than there were people on the Mall. I'm talking bedazzled skull caps, American flag-themed "Yes We Can" sneakers, and those horribly annoying clappy-hand things that make all that noise, just to name a few. I only gave in to buying one "Inauguration Witness" T-shirt and a huge purple Michelle Obama button, not because I was being stingy or picky or because I don't respect a good hustler (I do), but because I was trying to save up enough money to buy a fur to bring back to campus.
3.News Anchors as Celebrities
Lets me just give you a direct quote from a friend of mine who I was with in D.C.: "Rembert, the way you look at athletes and musicians and other famous people ... that's the way I look at news anchors."
I didn't really understand what she was talking about until MSNBC's Keith Olbermann walked out of his trailer, and insanity ensued. Now, it would be one thing if it were slightly graying women of Keith's age freaking out, but instead I watched hundreds of women and men in their early 20's run toward his trailer, screaming his name like they had just seen Mario Lopez or something. This same scenario goes for CNN's Anderson Cooper and Soledad O'Brian (marry me, please) and MSNBC's Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews and David Gregory. As ridiculous as it sounds for these people to be looked at as rock stars, at least it shows that people are starting to watch the news more, instead of spending all their time watching "Rock of Love."
4.Scary Men on Large Buildings.
The Department of Labor Building. The Canadian Embassy. The National Gallery of Art. The National Archives. The Department of Justice. What do all these buildings have in common, you ask? In addition to all being buildings off of Pennsylvania Avenue, the main street of the Inaugural Parade, there were also two to three of the most terrifying men, dressed in all black, standing on top of these buildings, waiting for someone to do something stupid. I kid you not, every time I pulled out my camera, expanded the lens, and pointed it at the First Family, I could have sworn a red dot landed on my lapel. Sometimes I would point my camera at one of the gremlins on the roof and, when I focused in, he would be looking right at me, while decapitating a voodoo doll of my body. There came a point when Obama's car was driving by during the parade where I honestly felt like I was risking my life to take a very blurry picture of Sasha and Malia. Like my life was in limbo, all because my mom got me a camera for the sole purpose of taking pictures at inauguration. But I did it, because I love my mom.
So there you have it. The 56th Inauguration is officially a wrap. I hope this gives you more of a sense of what went down, and, if you find yourself getting a little chilly during these winter months, just remember you don't have to be a beautiful black woman to wear a fur. This being day four of racism-free America, if you believe in yourself, you can do anything.
