'11 Guy 1 [Entering a two-man shower]: Yo bro, open up.
'11 Guy 2: We're about to have a rub-a-dub dub, two bros in a tub.
'10 Girl 1: He's a '12! He's a TEENAGER. This is embarrassing.
'10 Girl 2: Yeah, '12s weren't even alive in the 80's.
'10 Girl 1: They have no concept of Sig Nu dance parties!
'11 Heorot: If alcohol filed a tax return, I'd be listed as a dependent.
'09 Girl 1: Lately, I haven't really been wearing my slouchy boots that often.
'09 Girl 2: Why not?
'09 Girl 1: Well every time I wear them, I look down and think of Robin Hood. That's just not right.
'09 Girl: You know how Jesus turned fish into bread...
'10 Guy: You're the worst Catholic ever.
French Prof: Mais il est Freshman, et tu es Senior!
'09 Girl: Oui, je suis un cougar.
'11 Guy: Who actually goes backpacking through Patagonia?
'11 Girl: Wait Patagonia is a country? I always just thought it was an exotic-sounding shoe company's name.
'10 Girl: I really don't like Impressionism. It's too girly. It's like ... chicks like it.
'09 Girl 1: I had a parasite once.
'09 Guy: Me too. I lost like 15 pounds.
'09 Girl 2: A parasite that makes you never want to eat? Ideal!
'10 TDX: Who doesn't like to be little spoon? ... It's the best.
