You know what? I'm sick of this newspaper highlighting the scoundrels of this community and not giving any love to those who do extraordinary but very simple things. Today, April 18, 2008, I am writing the first ever "Praise Blotter," here in The Dartmouth, America's oldest college newspaper since 1799. I have been walking around all week with my very pretentious moleskin notebook ($19.99, Dartmouth Bookstore) noting all of the great things that happen on this campus. Here are the best of the best.
April 10, 12:31 p.m.
The Green
An unidentified female member of the Class of 2011 was playing catch with two of her friends. Excited that it was the first truly warm day of the spring, she decided to wear a sundress the size of a napkin, accentuating certain parts of her body. A female member of the Class of 2009 was troubled by the sight of this poor young freshman and yelled in her direction, "Put some clothes on!" The junior woman, obviously concerned about the young freshman getting cold, succeeded in helping the freshman girl, who immediately scurried off to retrieve a jacket.
April 12, 3:37 p.m.
Collis Common Ground
I was sitting in Collis Common Ground studying for my Organic Chemistry class that I'm NROing when an unidentified male member of the Class of 2011 entered the room and walked directly to the piano. He sat his stuff down and began playing the loudest, craziest song I've ever heard (I think it was Vanessa Carlton). I did not have headphones and was dying to have some background music, so I really appreciated it. In 10 minutes, the population of Collis Common Ground decreased by 95% -- they all must have had meetings -- but I stayed and was eternally grateful.
April 13, 3:17 a.m.
Webster Avenue
Dartmouth Safety and Security became suspect of an unidentified member of the Class of 2010 when, as they slowly rode by him, he decided it would be a great idea to run. As Safety and Security jumped out of the car to chase him down, two males walked out the front door of their fraternity carrying a keg. The officers' attention was immediately diverted from the fugitive to the keg carriers, allowing this latter day Harrison Ford to make it to Butterfield in one piece. These two exceptional fraternity members were later interrogated and probably arrested for their martyrdom.
April 14, 5:10 p.m.
Alumni Gym
Wanting to exhibit my athletic prowess and simultaneously get back in shape, I decided to go to the gym to play some basketball. I love basketball, especially in the spring because all of my fellow alpha males (Dartmouth football and basketball players) play almost every day. People were picking teams, and I, the little engine that could, was actually picked to play, which was so nice of them. I was thrilled. The game lasted about 20 minutes and I never got to touch the ball, but running up and down the court aimlessly did give me a nice cardio workout, which I desperately needed.
April 15, 10:08 a.m.
Rocky 2
I didn't have a pen. Neither did the kid next to me. The girl across the table had two extras. The pen she gave to the kid next to me worked wonderfully. The one she gave me exploded the second it touched my paper, getting ink all over my hand, paper and Livestrong bracelet. She did ruin my 10A, but it was such a nice gesture.
April 16, 3:24 a.m.
Collis Cafe
I was sitting in Collis, eating my traditional two applesauces I have with every meal, and I put my headphones on to listen to my iTunes. I really wanted to listen to that new Gnarls Barkley song "Run," but instead of that song "We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitments what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy" played. I turned it off, extremely confused. I went to another song, labeled "Love in this Club" by Usher. Just for kicks, I started it in the middle of the song. Instead of hearing Usher's tenor, I was once again greeted with Rick Astley's magnum opus, "Never Gonna Give You Up." Apparently, someone had put this song on my iTunes 15 times, but labeled them as each of my 15 last played songs. Initially I was furious because I knew it would take forever to fix this problem, but I was also happy as a lark. I love Rick Astley. So to whomever did this to me, thank you so much.
These good samaritans are littered throughout Dartmouth. This is a beautiful community full of individuals that do so much good for their fellow man and woman. To the people I highlighted in this article, and to all the others out there continuing to make the days of others better, I salute you.
-- Rembert Browne is a staff writer for The Mirror. Hanover Police Chief Nicholas Giaccone was not involved in these real-life incidents.
